The Rescuers Down Under

Bernard:
Miss Bianca, from now on, can't we just take the train?

Bernard:
[to a razorback] Now, look! I've got a long way to go. You're, you're gonna take me there, and you're not gonna give me any trouble about it, right? [razorback shakes head] Good! Now git!

Wilbur:
Welcome to... Albatross Air! "A fair fare from here to there." Ha ha, you get it? "A fair fare..." It's a play on... Never mind.

Wilbur:
Tie your kangaroos down, sports fans! HERE... WE... COME!

Wilbur:
Throw another shrimp on the barbie, girls, 'cause HERE I COME!

Wilbur:
[last line] HELP!! ANYBODY! Bernard! Bianca! Where are you?! Okay, that's it, I'm outta here. This is ridiculous! You can't leave me here alone! I'm gone! I am gone! [cracking and chirping sounds] Oh no. Stay in those eggs! That's a direct order! Hey... you're kind of a cute little fella... Goochy goochy- [cracking sound; screams]

McLeach:
Home, home, on the range

McLeach:
You get a line, I'll get a pole, matey.

McLeach:
[to Joanna] Did you take one of my eggs? [Joanna shakes her head] Open your mouth. [Joanna opens her mouth, McLeach looks inside while Joanna hides the egg in her tongue and from McLeach's view] These are NOT Joanna eggs!

McLeach:
I didn't make it all the way through third grade for nothing!

McLeach:
[after Joanna steals all the eggs in his box] Joanna, I give you platypus eggs, I give you snake eggs, why, I'd even give you eagle eggs! But I want you to stay away from my..... The eagle's eggs! That's it! That's the boy's weak spot!

McLeach:
[dangling Cody over a river of crocodiles] Are ya ready, boy? It's time ya learned how to fish for crocs. They like it when you use live bait, and you're as live as they come.

McLeach:
Joanna! Did you know... there was a razorback in my truck? Did ya? [Joanna nods] Did ya?! [Joanna shakes her head nervously] THERE WAS A RAZORBACK IN MY TRUCK! Now quit playin' around and do your job, you four-legged python!

McLeach:
[last words to the crocs] I whooped ya! I whooped y'all! You'll think twice before messin' with Percival C. McLeach! [laughs maniacally]

RAS Chief:
Order! Order! Yes, yes, I know it's late, but- Oh dear, really. Pyjamas! Ah-ha, hello Frank, how are you? And, Esmeralda, there you are. All right now, quiet please, everyone, pay attention. There has been a kidnapping in Australia. A young boy needs our help. This is a mission requiring our very finest. And I know we are all thinking of the same two mice... [looks up at Bernard and Bianca's seats, but finds them empty] What's this? Gone?! We must find Bernard and Miss Bianca at once!

Bianca:
Come on, darling. Let's get a move out.

Jake:
[Jake, Bernard and Bianca are digging into McLeach's lair] Has anyone considered trying "Open Sesame"? [the door opens, all three yell in shock and grab onto the door as it rises] Hey, it worked!

Miss Bianca:
[whilst Wilbur drinks from a can of cream soda] We must leave tonight.

Wilbur:
[spit takes] Tonight?! [coughs; laughs] Come on. You're kiddin' me, right? [laughs; opens his window] Have ya looked outside? It's suicide out there! [laughs; closes window] Oh, no. Ohhhhhhh, no! I'm afraid your jolly little holiday will have to wait. [laughs] What a bunch of jokers!

Miss Bianca:
But you don't understand. A boy needs our help. He's in trouble!

Wilbur:
Boy? You mean, "little kid" kinda boy?

Miss Bianca:
He was kidnapped!

Wilbur:
Kidnapped? Oh! That-that's awful! Locking up a little kid.... Kids should be free! Free to run wild through the house on Saturday mornings, free to have cookies and milk, and get those little white moustaches, you know, the-- Nobody's gonna take a kid's freedom while I'm around! Nobody, you hear me?!

Bianca:
Does that mean you'll take us?

Wilbur:
Storm or no storm, Albatross Airlines [salutes] at your service!

Bianca:
Captain, is this a non-stop flight to Australia?

Wilbur:
Well, uh, not exactly. No, I can definitely say no. We're gonna have to make connections with a bigger bird. Non-stop? Who do I look like, Charles Lindbergh?

Wilbur:
[over radio] Mugwump tower, Mugwump tower, this is Albatross 1-3, requesting permission to land, over!

Jake:
Albatross? Let's see. [examines size chart of different birds] Finch, wren, scrub-bird, lorikeet, freckled duck, galah, kookaburra, parrot, cockatoo, albatro- Alb-albatross-?! It's a jumbo! [gets on radio] Negative, 1-3! You'll have to turn back! Our runway's not long enough for a bird your size!

Wilbur:
Not long enough?! Look, pal! I can land this thing on a dime!

Bernard:
Uh, Wilbur, if the runway isn't long enough--

Wilbur:
Listen! You can't let these radar jockeys push you around! Just leave it to me, all right?

Jake:
I say again, mate, our runway is too short!

Wilbur:
And I say again, "mate", I'm comin' in!

Jake:
Crazy Yank!

Jake:
So, um, which way are we taking, uh, Suicide Trail through Nightmare Canyon, or the shortcut at Satan's Ridge?

Bernard:
Suicide Trail?

Jake:
Good choice! More snakes, less quicksand. Then once you cross Bloodworm Creek, you're scot free, that is until, um... Dead Dingo Pass.

McLeach:
Well, Joanna, what did we get today? A dingo, a fat old razorback, or a nice big... boy? [McLeach frowns, turns to look at Joanna and suddenly viciously kicks her] JOANNA, YOU BEEN DIGGIN' HOLES OUT HERE AGAIN?! Darn lizard's always trying to bury squirrels out here.

Cody:
Uh-uh. It's a trap, and poaching's against the law.

McLeach:
Trap? Where'd you get an idea like that, boy? I think you've been down in that hole too long. [points gun barrel directly at Cody's chest] Well, come on, grab a hold. [Cody gulps and grabs the gun, and McLeach pulls him out of the hole] We'll just get you outta this old lizard-hole, then you can just run on home.

[Joanna notices the mouse in Cody's backpack and snarls]

Cody:
This is a poacher's trap, and you're a poacher! [Joanna attacks. McLeach shrieks while he falls into his own pit, his gun going off in the process] Let go! Hey, get off me!

McLeach:
[climbing out] I'm gonna kill her... I'm gonna kill that dumb, slimy, egg-suckin' salamander!

Cody:
Cut it out, get off of me!

[McLeach angrily aims his gun at Joanna, until he notices Marahute's feather sticking out of the backpack]

McLeach:
Hmmmm... Good girl Joanna. Say, where'd you get this pretty feather, boy?

Cody:
It was a present.

McLeach:
Oh, that's real nice. Who gave it to you?

Cody:
It's a... secret.

McLeach:
That's no secret, boy. You see, I already got the father. [performs a throat-slitting gesture with a battered eagle feather] Hah, hah, hah! Now you just tell me where mama and those little eggs are.

Cody:
[retreats] No!

McLeach:
Joanna, sic 'em! [Joanna chases Cody to the edge of Crocodile Falls and McLeach stamps on Cody's hand, stopping him from using his knife] You're coming with me, boy.

Cody:
My Mom'll call the Rangers!

McLeach:
[mockingly] Oh no! Not the Rangers, what'll I do? What'll I do?! Don't let your mom call the Rangers, please! [Joanna laughs; McLeach flings Cody's backpack into the water, where the crocodiles attack it] "My poor baby boy got eaten by the crocodiles, boo-hoo-hoo!" [chuckles, as he grabs Cody] Let's go, boy!

Cody:
[gets locked in the cage on McLeach's truck] Help! Help!

Cody:
[Locked in McLeach's truck, throwing traps around] Let me out of here! Let me go! You can't do this! Help! HELP! HEEEEEELP!!!

McLeach:
[over the speaker] Breaker, breaker, little mate! I forgot to tell 'ya, round here, you need to be QUIET! Or the Rangers might hear. Now sit down and relax and enjoy the view. Nothing but abandoned opal mines, far as the eye can see! And dead ahead, is home sweet home.

McLeach:
Well, Joanna, it looks like lady luck has finally decided to smile on us. Everything's goin' our way!

Cody:
You can't do this! You're gonna get in big trouble! I'll tell the Rangers where you are!

Doctor:
Forceps!

Nurse Mouse:
Forceps!

Wilbur:
Oh no... What now?

Doctor:
Spinal streculator!

Wilbur:
Ohh! That's gonna hurt!

Doctor:
Artery router!

Wilbur:
Mother!

Doctor:
This is rusted tight. I wouldn't dream of using such tools. Bring me the epidermal tissue disrupter!

Wilbur:
THE EPIDERMAL WHAT?!

[The nurses rev up a chainsaw]

[Cody is tied up in front of a map; McLeach is across the room sharpening several knives]

McLeach:
Let's see if we can't refresh that rusty old memory of yours. Is she on Satan's Ridge?! [throws knife which embeds in map on "Satan's Ridge" and very close to Cody] Or Nightmare Canyon?! [throws another knife] What do you think, Joanna? [Joanna breaks a cracker in half] Yeah, that's it. Right smack dab in the middle of Croc Falls! [knife embeds into "Croc Falls" and very close to Cody's head] Am I gettin' warm?

Cody:
I told you I don't remember!

McLeach:
[walks toward Cody with a knife] Don't you realize a bird that size is worth a fortune?! [stabs knife into map next to Cody and gets nose to nose with him] I'll split the money with ya - 50-50. You can't get a better offer than that, boy!

Cody:
You won't have any money after the Rangers get through with you!

Cody:
There must be a way out of here.

Krebbs:
Oh, there's a way out, all right.

Red and Frank:
There is?

Krebbs:
[to Red] Absolutely! You'll go as a wallet, [to platypus] you'll go as a belt, and our dear Frank...

Frank:
No, no, no! I don't want to hear it!

Krebbs:
Frank will go as...

Frank:
I can't hear you! [covers ears while singing nonsense; stops to see if Krebbs is done]

Krebbs:
A purse.

Frank:
[shrieks hysterically]

Krebbs:
Oh, a lovely lady's purse!

Frank:
I DON'T WANNA GO AS A PURSE! Please, please don't let him do it!

Krebbs:
Oh, there he goes again...

Red:
Take it easy, mate. You don't wanna hurt yourself again.

[Wilbur and Bernard reunite at Marahute's nest]

Wilbur:
Wait a minute. What the heck are you doing up here?

Bernard:
The kidnapper took the boy and Jake... and Miss Bianca.

Wilbur:
Miss Bianca? Miss Bianca's in trouble? Oh, no! That's terrible! We gotta do something. I'm very disappointed in you, Bernard. Hiding under a nest while Bianca's in danger. Let me tell you something, buddy!

Bernard:
Wilbur...

Wilbur:
You-you-you start searchin' the desert for her, and I-I-I'll scan the coastline. Yeah, that's what I'll do.

Bernard:
Wilbur...

Wilbur:
I'll ask the chicks on the beach to...

Bernard:
Wilbur!

Wilbur:
Huh? What?

Bernard:
Listen. There are some chicks here that need your help.

Wilbur:
Really? [Bernard sits on Marahute's eggs and smiles. Wilbur understands what he means but resists.] Ohhhhh, no! Wait a minute. Hold it. I know what you're thinking, and you're wrong. Don't even-- No! [Bernard scowls at him] Don't look at me like that! You're getting "no" from me! You understand? No! I will not ever sit on those eggs! [Cut to Wilbur sitting on eggs] Aw, nuts! Gotta learn to be more assertive. "No" is "no" is "no". [to the eggs] Hey - quit movin' in there.

Bianca:
Now, now, Cody. We mustn't lose hope. Bernard is still out there.

Jake:
That's right! If anyone can get us out of this, it's old Berno! [under his breath] Nice bluff, Miss B.

Bianca:
I wasn't bluffing. You don't know Bernard like I do. He'll never give up.

Bianca:
Oh, Bernard, you were magnificent! You're absolutely the hero of the day!

Bernard:
Miss Bianca, before anything else happens... [drops to one knee and pulls out the ring] Will you marry me?

Bianca:
Bernard... Of course I will!

Jake:
[thumbs up] Well done, mate.

Percival C. Mcleach:
I'm gonna kill her... I'M GONNA KILL THAT DUMB SLIMY EGG-SUCKING SALAMANDER!

Percival C. Mcleach:
JOANNA!!! YOU HURRY UP AND EAT THOSE EGGS AND GET YOUR TAIL UP HERE! MOVE IT!!!