The Room

Johnny:
You are lying! I never hit you! YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, LISA!

Johnny:
Wow, you look so sexy Lisa!

Johnny:
Don't touch me motherf***er.

Johnny:
I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshit! I did not hit her! I did not! Oh hi, Mark.

Johnny:
You betrayed me! You not good, you...you are just chicken! Cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep!

Johnny:
The bank saves money and they are using me, and I am the fool.

Johnny:
They betrayed me, they didn't keep their promise, they tricked me, and I don't care anymore.

Johnny:
Everybody betray me! I fed up with this world.

Johnny:
[to Mark]: I'm so happy I have you as my best friend, and I love Lisa so much.

Mark:
You don't understand anything, man. Leave your stupid comments in your pocket!

Mark:
Oh man, I just can't figure women out. Sometimes they're just too smart. Sometimes they're flat-out stupid. Other times they're just evil.

Mark:
As far as I'm concerned, you can drop off the Earth. That's a promise.

Mark:
Do you think girls like to cheat like guys do?

Mark:
The candles, the music, the sexy dress. I mean, what's going on here?

Mark:
I used to know a girl, she had a dozen guys. One of them found out about it… beat her up so bad she ended up at a hospital on Guerrero Street.

Denny:
You look beautiful today. Can I kiss you?

Lisa:
She's a stupid b*tch. She wants to control my life. I'm not going to put up with that. I'm going to do what I want to do, and that's it. What do you think I should do?

Lisa:
I just wanted to hear your sexy voice. I keep thinking about your strong hands around my body. It excites me so much.

Steven:
I feel like I'm sitting on an atomic bomb waiting for it to go off!

Mike:
Did you know that chocolate is the symbol of love?

Claudette:
Men are a**holes. Men and women use and abuse each other all the time, there's nothing wrong with it. Marriage has nothing to do with love.

Peter:
People are people. Sometimes they just can't see their own faults.

Chris R:
Five minutes? You want five f***ing minutes!? You know what [pulls out gun] I don't have FIVE F***ING MINUTES!

Mark:
Wow. So, uh, you gonna be ready?

Lisa:
How do you mean that? I'm always ready... for you.

Lisa:
Do you want me to order a pizza?

Johnny:
Whatever, I don't care.

Lisa:
I already ordered a pizza.

Johnny:
You think about everything, ha ha ha.

Lisa:
You can come out now, Johnny. She's gone.

Johnny:
In a few minutes, b*tch.

Lisa:
Who are you calling a b*tch?!

Johnny:
You and your stupid mother.

Lisa:
Did you get your promotion?

Johnny:
Nah.

Lisa:
You didn't get it, did you?

Lisa:
I still love you.

Johnny:
You're the only one who does.

Steven:
When is the baby due?

Lisa:
There is no baby.

Steven:
What? What are you talking about?

Lisa:
I told him that to make it interesting.

Mark:
How was work today?

Johnny:
Oh pretty good. We got a new client... at the bank. We make a lot of money.

Mark:
What client?

Johnny:
I cannot tell you, it's confidential.

Mark:
Oh come on. Why not?

Johnny:
No I can't. Anyway, how's your sex life?

Denny:
So what sort of movie are we gonna see?

Johnny:
... Ah, don't plan too much. It might not come out right.

Lisa:
Johnny got drunk last night...and he hit me.

Claudette:
Johnny doesn't drink!

Claudette:
Oh! That jerk, Harold! He wants me to give him a share of my house. That house belongs to me! He has no right! I'm not giving him a penny! Who does he think he is?

Lisa:
He's your brother.

Claudette:
He is always bugging me about my house. Fifteen years ago, we agreed that house belongs to me. Now the value of the house is going up and he's seeing dollar signs. Everything goes wrong at once. Nobody wants to help me, and I'm dying!

Lisa:
You're not dying, mom.

Claudette:
I got the results of the test back. I definitely have breast cancer.

Lisa:
Look... Don't worry about it ! Everything will be fine !

Can you really trust anyone?

...Are you ready to see reflections of your life?

Johnny:
Denny, do you have something else to do?

Denny:
I just like to watch you guys.

Lisa:
Oh, Denny, Denny, Denny boy!

Johnny:
Denny, two is great, but three's a crowd. Ha ha ha.

Denny:
I get it. You guys wanna be alone.

Johnny:
That's the idea.

Denny:
Fine. I have homework anyway. Bye, love birds.

Johnny:
Bye, Denny.

Lisa:
Bye, Denny.

Lisa:
Did you get your promotion?

Johnny:
Nah.

Lisa:
You didn't get it, did you?

Johnny:
That son-of-a-b*tch told me I will get it within three months. I saved them bundles. They're crazy. I don't think I'll ever get it. They betrayed me, they didn't keep their promise, they tricked me, and I don't care anymore.

Johnny:
The bank saves money and they are using me, and I am the fool.

Lisa:
I still love you.

Johnny:
You're the only one who does.

Lisa:
He didn't get his promotion. And he got drunk last night... and he hit me.

Claudette:
Johnny doesn't drink! What are you talking about?

Mark:
If you keep your girl satisfied, she wouldn't have come to me!

Johnny:
Get out of my house. [attacks Mark] I'll kill you! I'll break every bone in your body! [gets stopped by party attendants]

Lisa:
STOP IT!

Johnny:
I'll kill you, you bastard!

Mark:
You couldn't kill me if you tried...

Johnny:
You betrayed me! You're not good, you... you're just a chicken! Cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep! [Mark attacks him again]

Derek:
I don't wanna hurt you, Johnny.

Denny:
It's okay.

Johnny:
[to Lisa] Do you understand life?! Do you?!

Johnny:
Get out, get out, get out of my life!

Johnny:
Why, Lisa, why? Please talk to me! Pleeease! You are part of my life! You are everything! I cannot go on without you, Lisa!

Johnny:
You can love someone deep inside your heart, and there is nothing wrong with it. If a lot of people love each other, the world would be a better place to live.

Johnny:
You know what they say, "Love is blind!"

Johnny:
I'm tired, I'm wasted, I love you, darling! [laughing]

Johnny:
Thank you honey, this is a beautiful party. You invited all of my friends! Good thinking!

Johnny:
God...forgive me. [step the bags of chips] Oh, great. [kills himself]

Mark:
Yeah, I'm thinking of moving to a bigger place, man. I'm making some good money.

Mark:
Wake up, man, what planet are you on?

Mark:
I'm not a freaks.

Mark:
Man. Serial killers are very strange these days. (Songify the Room Special)

Denny:
I just like to watch you guys.

Denny:
YOU'RE NOT MY F***IN' A MOTHER!!

Denny:
STOP GANGING UP ON ME!

Denny:
I'm sorry, Mother.

Lisa:
I like you very much... Loveeerrr boy.

Lisa:
Why are you so hysterical?

Lisa:
You two are acting like children!

Lisa:
You think you're an angel... You're just like everybody else.

Lisa:
I'm leaving you, Johnny.

Lisa:
I am not responsible for Johnny. I'm through with that. I'm changing. I have the right, don't I? People are changing all the time.

Claudette:
I got the results of the test back! I definitely have breast cancer.

Peter:
Lisa's a sociopath. She can never love anyone.

Derek:
Chris R, calm down.

Chris R.:
I'm sorry, kid. Go home, or I'll call the Mother.