Sam and Max: What's New Beelzebub

Sam:
Do you have any...?

Bosco:
Boy, I'm standing buck naked on an empty stage, miles below the surface of the Earth! Do I look like I have anything?

Sam:
[looks at Max, who shrugs, then continues anyway] Do you have any chainsaw gasoline?

Bosco:
[to camera] I really *am* in Hell.

Max:
We've been living over a gateway to hell the whole time and we never took advantage of it?

Sam:
Our condo association is going to receive a very stern letter.

Sam:
By the ruby-red goiters of Rube Goldberg! Look, Max, it's Santa's sleigh!

Max:
What an unexpected stroke of luck!

Sam:
Or is it, Max? Remember that time long ago when we jacked Santa's sleigh in an effort to save Christmas and drove it recklessly into a hellish vision of the future very much like the one we're standing in now?

Max:
I stopped paying attention halfway through that sentence.

Sam:
[to Bosco] Why are you standing naked on a stage in front of your mother, your therapist, and a Mexican?

Max:
Wait, wait, I know this one...

Sybil:
You'll never guess what Abe did on our date last night.

Sam:
We stopped speculating about that months ago. It was making me lose my appetite.

Sam:
Is there room in the wedding party for Max and me?

Max:
As President of the US, and High Priest of the Ocean Chimps, I'm qualified both legally and spiritually to conduct the ceremony.

Sybil:
Hmm, how to put this tactfully? They'll be serving ice cream in Hell before I let that happen.

Sam:
What's the wedding gonna be like?

Max:
Is it a shotgun wedding?

Sybil:
Max! What a thing to ask! Oh, wait. He doesn't know what that means, does he?

Sam:
Just let him enjoy his fantasy version for a while.

Stinky:
[Whizzer is selling "Fruit of Forbidden Knowledge Cider"] Maybe you two can give me some advice. Mr. Whizzer's offer sounds *very* tempting...

Max:
Now it all comes down to your per-bottle cut. Don't accept anything less than ten percent for the first year, with quarterly renegotiations.

Whizzer:
Done!

Sam:
Shut up, Max!

Sam:
Boy, Stinky sure is a misogynist, huh?

Max:
Yeah! In his world, women are all either indecisive, overbearing, or outright liars.

Sam:
I'm sure glad *we* don't live in that world!