Tales of Monkey Island: Chapter 1 - Launch of the Screaming Narwhal

Guybrush Threepwood:
Elaine, my beautiful butter...

Elaine Marley:
What?

Guybrush Threepwood:
I said, "Elaine, my beautiful butter..."

Elaine Marley:
"My beautiful butter"?

Guybrush Threepwood:
I was going to say "buttercup", but you keep cutting me off!

Elaine Marley:
Oh, Guybrush! Now stop LeChuck or we're all dead.

Guybrush Threepwood:
Are you okay?

Elaine Marley:
I'm fine! Finish the recipe!

Guybrush Threepwood:
Do you need anything?

Elaine Marley:
I said I'm fine! Just finish the recipe!

Guybrush Threepwood:
Want me to get anything from the hold? I've brought some pot stickers!

Elaine Marley:
No! Finish the recipe!

Guybrush Threepwood:
Why do you keep shouting at me?

Elaine Marley:
I'm not shouting! I'm projecting!

Guybrush Threepwood:
Is this thing sloshing? Four words you don't want to hear when you pick up a coffin.

[Putting Porcelain Power Pirate on altar]

Guybrush Threepwood:
Foolish Power Pirate! Your porcelain parts will be sacrificed to, um, Bob, the Lord of the Seas! [pretending to be the pirate doll] Arrrr! Me kidneys!

Guybrush Threepwood:
Tell me more about this locket.

Voodoo Lady:
It was given to me by my... friend... Coronado De Cava.

Guybrush Threepwood:
Why do you keep putting dramatic pauses around "friend?" Was Coronado-?

Voodoo Lady:
Yes, he was my boyfriend.

Guybrush Threepwood:
Icky!

Voodoo Lady:
We met in the Jerkbait Islands many years ago. I fell in love with his treasure hunting mind and his beautiful eyes. He fell in love with my voodoo charms and my supple...

Guybrush Threepwood:
[sticks fingers in ears] La-la-la-la-la-la! Not listening!

Voodoo Lady:
[Inaudible until Guybrush pulls his fingers out of his ears] -like a volcano! But after several months of ocean-steaming passion, our love cooled after he became obsessed with the myth of La Esponja Grande. When we parted, he gave me that locket.

Guybrush Threepwood:
Sad... and disquietingly graphic.

Guybrush Threepwood:
LeChuck!

LeChuck:
Do ya mind? I be in the middle of an unholy ceremony here!

Guybrush Threepwood:
Unholy this! [stabs LeChuck]

Elaine Marley:
"Unholy this?"

Guybrush Threepwood:
Yeah, I know, but he didn't give me much to work with...

Guybrush Threepwood:
[When trying to fire the cannon] I'd fire the cannon, but Elaine jettisoned all my ammo after I 'accidentally' sank her mother's schooner.

Elaine Marley:
And now we're going to die. Again. Wonderful.

Guybrush Threepwood:
What's LeChuck doing with all these monkeys anyway?

Elaine Marley:
I think it's some sort of blood sacrifice in exchange for the secret language of plankton. Or maybe he just really hates monkeys. It's all been a little vague.

Guybrush Threepwood:
That's strange. LeChuck's soul-chilling schemes are usually so well-planned.

Guybrush Threepwood:
I'll sleep when I'm dead. Or later tonight.

Guybrush Threepwood:
Great, a pirate hunter. I need that like I need a fourth nipple.

Guybrush Threepwood:
Nice ship! We're you drunk when you built it?

Reginald van Winslow:
Har-har-har! Good one, boyo! But I didn't build the Screaming Narwhal. It was assembled by a committee of concerned Flotsam citizens.

Guybrush Threepwood:
We're THEY drunk?

Reginald van Winslow:
No, but they had to use whatever floated ashore. Hence the aforementioned "constructed by sots" look!

Guybrush Threepwood:
[Upon finding an altar] I wonder what sort of hideous sacrificial rites were performed on this ancient altar? [Sweeps and tastes] Hmm, tastes like chicken.

Reginald van Winslow:
[after Guybrush has blasted him off the ship with a bomb] Well played, Master Threepwood! Or should I say "Captain Threepwood"?

Guybrush Threepwood:
Captain?

Reginald van Winslow:
Aye! Now that you've bounced me off the Screaming Narwhal, you're officially it's captain until someone else comes along and knocks you off

Guybrush Threepwood:
Sweet!

Reginald van Winslow:
Aye, bloody well sweet it is! Now if you'll excuse me, I have some massive internal hemorrhaging to attend to. Congratulations!

Guybrush Threepwood:
Y'know, you've been helping me out for years, and I still don't know your name!

Voodoo Lady:
Names have power, Guybrush Threepwood. Only a fool willingly gives it away.

Guybrush Threepwood:
Does MY name have power?

Voodoo Lady:
Er, um, sure, why not?

Guybrush Threepwood:
Talk to the hand, sicko, 'cause the pirate ain't listenin'!

Marquis DeSinge:
Grrrr! Mark my words, Threepwood... you'll rue the day you crossed the Marquis De Singe! [leaves]... and your little hand too!

Guybrush Threepwood:
Rue? I don't know the meaning of the word!

Guybrush Threepwood:
Hmm, Elaine's ship looks pretty good considering it was EXPLODING the last time I saw it.

Threatening Voice:
[Last lines] Guybrush Threepwood! I've been waiting a long time for this!

Guybrush Threepwood:
[Sword to his throat] Um, could you wait a little longer?