The Long Riders

Jacob Rixley:
The funeral will be in Chicago and the Governor will be there.

Mortician:
Well, I'm sure it will cheer their souls just to hear you say that.

Frank James:
Mr. Rixley?

Jacob Rixley:
That's right.

Frank James:
My name is Frank James. I came here to turn myself in. Here's my gun. I want something in return. I want to be able to bury my brother.

Jacob Rixley:
Suppose I don't agree to your terms?

Frank James:
Then I'll kill you. [Now points his gun at Mr. Rixley, c*cks hammer back]

Cole Younger:
When this is all over, I'm goin' to write a book; make myself more famous than I already am.

Frank James:
I trust you'll give me a copy.

Cole Younger:
Nope. You gotta pay, Frank; you gotta pay.

[Cole Younger and Sam Starr are about to fight over Belle]

Cole Younger:
What does the winner get?

Belle Starr:
Nothin' both of you ain't already had.

Cole Younger:
Don't hardly seem worth it.

Belle Starr:
It ain't. You're both crazy, but you do keep me amused. I am having a *real* good time.

[Rixley is trying to get Ed Miller to inform on the James/Younger gang]

Ed Miller:
Let me tell you one damn thing. I turn 'em in and I'm gonna get killed by one of their relatives sure as hell. Now I got six months to go here for bustin' up a place drunk, so I'll just take my chances, all right? Besides, Jesse just might change his mind, and he pays better wages than you do, Pinkerton Man.

Jacob Rixley:
Mrs. James, we are going to search your house. I don't suppose it would do any good to ask nicely?

Zee Mimms/James:
It won't do you any good to ask at all.

Jacob Rixley:
You know, those men of yours are going to wind up dead or they're going to wind up worse.

[Jesse is meeting with the Ford Brothers]

Jesse James:
It ain't straight.

Robert Ford:
What?

Jesse James:
That sampler; it ain't straight [turns his back on the Fords]

Robert Ford:
[pulls his gun] I shot Jesse James. [shoots Jesse in the back]

Engineer:
[during a train robbery] Who the hell do you think you are, Jesse James?

Bob Younger:
Hell, no! I'm Bob Younger. Jesse James rides with the Youngers. Now, stop the damn train!

Jim Younger:
[before the Northfield Raid] Maybe we need to send a couple of people down there and look things over before we just ride in there.

Jesse James:
Clell's already scouted it out. What's wrong with you, Jim? Talkin' soft is something I'd expect from Cole or Frank.

Cole Younger:
I gave up tryin' to talk sense to you a long time ago, Jesse.

Belle Starr:
Coleman Younger! Seems like you folks are havin' a real nice party in there.

Cole Younger:
I expect so, with free food and drink and all.

Belle Starr:
How come I wasn't invited?

Cole Younger:
'Cause you're a whore, Belle.

Belle Starr:
I might be; but at least I ain't a cheap one.

Cole Younger:
You still chargin' $15?

Belle Starr:
[laughing] I sure am.

Cole Younger:
[shaking his head] Lot of money.

Belle Starr:
Well, at the rate you're losin' you won't have to worry about it. Course you could always hold up another bank; scare some more innocent people half to death.

Cole Younger:
[regarding the Northfield Raid] That's kinda off our range, ain't it, Jesse? There's still a lot of banks and cathouses in Missouri we ain't done.

Cole Younger:
[Jesse has decided to leave the Youngers for the posse to find] I like it better this way, Jesse; I get to see you run.

Frank James:
[gazing at Wilhelmina across a crowded dance floor] I got a question for you.

Clell Miller:
Fire away, Frank. Fire away and fall back.

Frank James:
You ever been in love?

Clell Miller:
Oh God, yes. It was terrible. An affliction. Really miserable. Nothing but trouble. Drove me crazy.

Frank James:
That bad? Really?

Clell Miller:
Yes. She was wonderful.

Jacob Rixley:
I want your sons, Mrs. Samuel.

Zerelda Cole Samuel:
What do you want them for?

Jacob Rixley:
For robbing banks, ma'am.

Beth Mimms:
Jim Younger, there are some things that a gentleman does not ask a lady!

Bob Younger:
Beth, when you're old enough to call yourself a lady, I'll keep that in mind.

[on Jesse's relationship with Zee Mimms]

Cole Younger:
The next thing you know, he'll ask her to marry him and settle down.

Frank James:
The first part, anyway.

Cole Younger:
First getting shot, then getting married - bad habits.

Jacob Rixley:
What do you and your brothers think about a life sentence? I mean, you're lucky they don't allow hanging in this state. Come on, Cole, tell me what you think about this?

Cole Younger:
Ah, hell. We played a rough game... and we lost.

Cole Younger:
[Cole Younger and Sam Starr are about to fight over Belle] Well... I'm glad I caught you in a good mood.