Carry On England 
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Pvt. Easy: Oh, I do hope you're regular, Sir!
Capt. S. Melly: Regular? I've been regular for 18 years!
Pvt. Easy: Oh, good. That means I can have it back tomorrow, then.
Capt. S. Melly: You'll have it back when I'm good and ready.
Pvt. Easy: That's alright, Sir. No need to strain yourself!
Capt. S. Melly: Corporal!
Capt. S. Melly: That man, he's wearing lipstick!
Melly's driver: Lipstick sir?
Capt. S. Melly: Yes.
Melly's driver: Where?
Capt. S. Melly: On his face! Where do you think!
Capt. S. Melly: What are you laughing at?
Pvt. Murray: Well, I'm happy Sir.
Capt. S. Melly: Happy? what here?
Sgt. Len Able: What am I supposed to do with this? Eat it or rub it in?
Cpl. Cook: You can bounce it off the ceiling for all I care.
Maj. Butcher: That's quite a nasty friction burn you have there. What you been doing aye? Arsing about?
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"Carry On England Quotes." Quotes.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2016. Web. 25 Aug. 2016. <http://www.quotes.net/movies/Carry On England>.