Dinner at Fred's 
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Richard: You sure do ask a lot of questions.
Celia: It's the only way to get a lot of answers.
Richard: What if he's up late catching a movie?
Fred: He doesn't watch TV!
Dennis: Not since he blew a hole in it with his shotgun.
Fred: Don't worry. He was just mad at Phil Donahue about the episode where he wore a dress. Who didn't shoot their TV that day?
Aunt Bonnie: We had the bible read to us by Charleston Heston I wish it had been a longer trip, I'd like to have heard the ending.
Fred: The Hero dies.
Aunt Bonnie: No!
Richard: I am in a circle of hell that Dante never even dreamed of!