Ernest:
Boy this is great! This is just like that John Wayne movie when he and Sundance were in Bulgaria.

Abner:
Bolivia. They were in Bolivia. Wait a minute, they were killed in Bolivia.

Ernest:
Well maybe they should've stayed in Bulgaria.

Abner:
Look, consider the ramifications!

Ernest:
We don't have any ramifications, all we've got is this cannon!

Ernest:
Know what I mean?

Ernest:
Isn't that one of those lizards that when its tail falls off, it can grow another lizard?

Abner:
I'm a professor with two Ph.D.'s, so why is it I'm running around with a refugee from Sesame Street?

Abner:
I left my detector!

Ernest:
So did I!

Abner:
But it was a Ten Co.

Ernest:
Mine was an Eleven-Co.

Abner:
Ernest, are you dead?

Ernest:
I guess I would be if I weren't just *that* close to being an actual cartoon.

Ernest:
Why the long face? I thought you were a "hysterical" professor.

Ernest:
Could it be? Is it possible?

Ernest:
It is! It's Cleopatra's crystal skull!

Abner:
You need a CAT Scan, Ernest!