Ernest Rides Again 
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Ernest: Boy this is great! This is just like that John Wayne movie when he and Sundance were in Bulgaria.
Abner: Bolivia. They were in Bolivia. Wait a minute, they were killed in Bolivia.
Ernest: Well maybe they should've stayed in Bulgaria.
Abner: Look, consider the ramifications!
Ernest: We don't have any ramifications, all we've got is this cannon!
Ernest: Know what I mean?
Ernest: Isn't that one of those lizards that when its tail falls off, it can grow another lizard?
Abner: I'm a professor with two Ph.D.'s, so why is it I'm running around with a refugee from Sesame Street?
Abner: I left my detector!
Ernest: So did I!
Abner: But it was a Ten Co.
Ernest: Mine was an Eleven-Co.
Abner: Ernest, are you dead?
Ernest: I guess I would be if I weren't just *that* close to being an actual cartoon.
Ernest: Why the long face? I thought you were a "hysterical" professor.
Ernest: Could it be? Is it possible?
Ernest: It is! It's Cleopatra's crystal skull!
Abner: You need a CAT Scan, Ernest!