I Love Melvin

Mrs. Schneider:
Judy! Come on, get up! It's late! JUDY!

Judy:
Aw, Mom, Bob Taylor was just saying something important!

Mrs. Schneider:
Oh, come on!

Judy:
Oh, just five minutes! Maybe I can dream him back!

Mr. Schneider:
You know, that fella's got maybe a thousand pictures of you. What's he doing with 'em, papering a wall?

Mr. Schneider:
What is it, a timed exposure?

Judy:
They want me to marry Harry Flack!

Melvin:
Judy, you can't! I - I love you, Judy!

Judy:
Shh...Melvin...

Melvin:
You're not gonna do it, are you?

Judy:
Well, you see...

Melvin:
Because if you do it, I'll be very frank about this, Judy. If you do it, I'll kill myself!

Judy:
Melvin! Stop it!

Melvin:
I mean it! Judy, you know how I feel! I'd do anything for you! I'd rob a bank, I'd take a rocket to the moon, anything! Just ask me!

Judy:
Put me on the cover! My picture, on the cover of the magazine!

Melvin:
Judy, I said I'd kill myself or take a rocket to the moon, but don't ask the impossible!

Judy:
I...I love Melvin!

Mergo:
You got a cover idea? What is it?

Melvin:
A girl!

Mergo:
Oh joy! Now THERE is an earth-shaking notion! A girl on the cover of a magazine! They'll go mad, I tell you, mad!

Melvin:
But this girl's different!

Mergo:
What's she got, three eyes?

Mergo:
What are you grinning about?

Melvin:
Oh, nothing, just happy.

Mergo:
Well, don't let me catch you being happy around me!

Judy:
Harry Flack is coming to dinner Monday night.

Melvin:
Oh. Well, that's simple. Poison him.

Judy:
He wants to talk to Pop! He's going to propose!

Melvin:
Propose! To your father?

Mergo:
It'll work! You know, I wouldn't do this for a friend of mine. He might get in trouble. With you, I don't care.

Mr. Schneider:
Have some food!

Melvin:
No thanks, not on an empty stomach.

Mr. Prouty:
Are you drunk, Mr. Schneider?

Mr. Schneider:
Forget that "Schneider" bit! I've just been to court changing my name to "LeRoy"!

Mr. Prouty:
Splendid. Are you drunk, Mr. LeRoy?

Judy:
Don't hurt Melvin!

Mr. Schneider:
Hurt him! I'll rip his ears off!