Thornton Melon:
Now that's what I call Marine Biology!

Thornton Melon:
Bring us a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until somebody passes out. And then bring one every ten minutes.

Diane:
How would you characterize "The Great Gatsby"?

Thornton Melon:
He was... uh... great!

Executive #2:
The toy division has come up with a new doll idea to go along with our children's clothing line. We call them Melon Patch Kids. Now, the competition exploits the notion that their dolls are orphans. The Melon Patch Kids are not orphans... they're abandoned! We think it's a winner.

Trendy Man:
Mr. Melon, your wife was just showing us her Klimt.

Thornton Melon:
You too, huh? She's shown it to everybody.

Trendy Man:
Well, she's very proud of it.

Thornton Melon:
I'm proud of mine too. I don't go waving it around at parties, though.

Trendy Man:
It's an exceptional painting.

Thornton Melon:
Oh, the painting.

Thornton Melon:
- but a great view! You're all right, officer. Here, a little something for the kids.

Thornton Melon:
No kids? Well, get yourself some kids. Take it all.

Thornton Melon:
And just remember, the best thing about kids... is making them!

Thornton Melon:
What's your favorite subject?

Thornton Melon:
Really? Well, maybe you can help me straighten out my Longfellow.

Diane:
I'd love to go with you, but I've got a class right now.

Thornton Melon:
Well, why don't you come and see me some time when you have no class.

Lou:
I liked your other wife better.

Thornton Melon:
Hey, don't knock Vanessa; she gives good headache.

Professor Terguson:
I wasn't in a class room, hoping I was right, thinking about it. I was up to my knees in rice paddies, with guns that didn't work! Going in there, looking for Charlie, slugging it out with him; While PUSSIES like you were back here partying, putting headbands on, doing drugs, and listening to the GODDAMN BEATLE ALBUMS! OH! OH! OH!