If you have a hearty appetite for fiery explosions, heavy ordnance, and nonsensical mayhem, Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever is just for you. This mindless action flick is so wrong-headed that even its ungainly title is inaccurate: as expert assassins on the fringes of government intelligence, FBI agent Ecks (Antonio Banderas) and Defense Intelligence agent Sever (Lucy Liu) aren't battling each other at all. Instead, he's trying to find his missing ex-wife (the stunning but expressionless Talisa Soto) and young son, while she's pursuing an agency turncoat (Gregg Henry) who's stolen the ultimate micro-technology for clandestine killing. United against a common enemy, Ecks and Sever lay waste to half of Vancouver (the film's budget-conscious location), and it all makes as much sense as meatballs on a vegetarian menu. Banderas and Liu look fabulous as corpses pile up around them, but Thai action director Kaos (a.k.a. Wych Kaosayananda) must have confused his nickname with the incomprehensible plot of his movie. --Jeff Shannon
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