Len Cella:
Surgeons who advertise in comic books are probably not quality physicians.

Len Cella:
The word for today is sprunion. A sprunion is a toe that wears out a sock.

Len Cella:
If you're really serious about aggravating people, chew on ice cubes while you're talkin' to 'em.

Len Cella:
Never trust a man who has jewelry hanging out of his nose.

Len Cella:
If you can sell turnips, you can sell anything.

Len Cella:
I don't have any trouble impressin' women. I just show 'em my muscles... and my bowling trophy!

Len Cella:
Make your friends leave their handkerchiefs out on the porch. If you don't, the germs will sneak out of their pockets during dinner and ruin the food.

Len Cella:
The best place to open a hat store is right next to the world's worst barber.

Len Cella:
So what if I put mustard on my carrots, I know a guy who eats brussel sprouts. I wouldn't be in the same room with a brussel sprout!

Len Cella:
Never trust a man wearing a ski mask in a steam bath.

Len Cella:
You're ugly if you look better with panty hose on your head.

Len Cella:
Never trust a brain surgeon who advertises on telephone poles.

Len Cella:
You know you're drunk when you put your pants to bed and you hang over the chair all night.