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Len Cella: Surgeons who advertise in comic books are probably not quality physicians.
Len Cella: The word for today is sprunion. A sprunion is a toe that wears out a sock.
Len Cella: If you're really serious about aggravating people, chew on ice cubes while you're talkin' to 'em.
Len Cella: Never trust a man who has jewelry hanging out of his nose.
Len Cella: If you can sell turnips, you can sell anything.
Len Cella: I don't have any trouble impressin' women. I just show 'em my muscles... and my bowling trophy!
Len Cella: Make your friends leave their handkerchiefs out on the porch. If you don't, the germs will sneak out of their pockets during dinner and ruin the food.
Len Cella: The best place to open a hat store is right next to the world's worst barber.
Len Cella: So what if I put mustard on my carrots, I know a guy who eats brussel sprouts. I wouldn't be in the same room with a brussel sprout!
Len Cella: Never trust a man wearing a ski mask in a steam bath.
Len Cella: You're ugly if you look better with panty hose on your head.
Len Cella: Never trust a brain surgeon who advertises on telephone poles.
Len Cella: You know you're drunk when you put your pants to bed and you hang over the chair all night.