The Gay Bed and Breakfast of Terror

Luella:
Pretty girls must die!

Luella:
Mary Maria wasn't a nun. She was a lesbian pretending to be a nun.

Lizette:
Where's the f***ing mini-bar?

Mike:
He's an expert. I'm an expert too... in Judo.

Helen:
There's too many f***ing a**holes!

Luella:
Is that you, Manfred? Where are you calling from?

Helen:
Manfred? Where's his head?

Gabby:
[after receiving a prank call] I hate gay hotels.

Luella:
But when I saw what was underneath Manfred's little blanket, I knew he was special.

Gabby:
Shut the door so it can't get in!

Starr:
So what can't get in?

Gabby:
Some homicidal freaking ghoul in this house of freaks!

Gabby:
That's nothing. The mincemeat muffin lady came to our room with a butcher knife so we ran into freaky girl who told us all about her whack job mother who kills all the women who stay here because they're lesbians and it's a sin to be lesbian and so she kills all the lesbians before her daughter can have sex with them.