The Incredible Torture Show

[Before opening night at the theatre]

Master Sardu:
Ralphus, break a leg.

Ralphus:
Whose, Master?

Master Sardu:
Her mouth shall make an interesting urinal!

[torturing a girl on the rack]

Master Sardu:
This will go far beyond every STRETCH of the imagination.

[after sawing a naked woman's hand off]

Master Sardu:
Oh yes! Now we're getting the proper reaction.

Ralphus:
Is she dead, master?

Master Sardu:
Not quite.

Ralphus:
If she died, no new show.

Master Sardu:
I know, idiot.

Master Sardu:
Well, how's our little patient today?

Natasha D'Natalie:
I won't dance.

Master Sardu:
Enough of that. Time to recoup your energy. Ralphus has made some chicken soup for you. [feeding Natasha] There. He made it especially for you.

Natasha D'Natalie:
Mmm.

Master Sardu:
Delicious?

Ralphus:
My mother taught me. I used the whole chicken. The secret is cooking it alive.

Tom Maverick:
[while almost falling because he stepped on something] They shouldin't have stuff lying around, people could fall.

[picks up a severed head]

Tom Maverick:
Ugh!

[drops the head]

Sergeant John Tucci:
What's the matter Tom? Never got a little head before?

[While playing a game with Ralphus]

Master Sardu:
How often to I have to tell you, I'm brown, your white!

Natasha D'Natalie:
This isn't S&M, this is Art!