Rock Profile

Graham Coxon:
I don't like television, too much colours and movement, it's too busy for me. Also, sometimes there's people on it and you don't know whether they're on television or if they're in a room with you but they're just small.

Presenter:
If "Parklife" was considered Damon's album, "13" was very much percieved as your album. Would that be -

Graham Coxon:
[interupts] It's not my fault! Nobody showed me how to work the machines! D'you press record and play or is it just record? And I had to play it all on my own!

Presenter:
What about Dave and Alex?

Graham Coxon:
They wouldn't come in because I play with matches.

Presenter:
So you played all the instruments yourself?

Graham Coxon:
Yeah, but I never knew how a lot of 'em worked. I spent weeks trying to blow into the piano.

Graham Coxon:
[blows repeatedly] Then all the instruments started talking about me behind me back.

Gary Barlow:
[about the other Take That members] They used to think you were a bully! They used to whisper names behind your back, I heard them! "Bully Barlow!"

Howard Donald:
That's your name.

Gary Barlow:
Oh.

Bono:
Come to think of it, we still haven't been paid for Live Aid.

Presenter:
Do you still see much of Bob Geldof? There's obviously the Irish connection there.

Bono:
No, to be honest, I don't like him. I think he's very mean.

Benny Andersson:
Not a lot of people realize our songs are political.

Presenter:
What, like "Dancing Queen?"

Benny Andersson:
Yeah, this is about the fall of communism.

Presenter:
I always thought it was about a dancing queen...

Benny Andersson:
It's a metaphor, dum-dum.

Bj?rn Ulvaeus:
What do you think "Mamma Mia" is about?

Presenter:
Mummies?

Bj?rn Ulvaeus:
Vietnam.

Presenter:
"The Winner Takes It All?"

Bj?rn Ulvaeus:
Jimmy Tarbuck.

Presenter:
"Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! A Man After Midnight?"

Benny Andersson:
This is your own private business, we cannot procure men for you.

Lee:
[annoyed] Do you know who I am?

Presenter:
You're Lee from Steps.

Lee:
Oh, I thought I was H.

H:
[confused] No, I H.

Lee:
Well, who's Lisa, then?

H:
The fat one.

Lee:
I said we should have badges with our names on!

Howard Donald:
Everybody all right for nibbles?

Tom Jones:
Oh, I'll tell you who I've met: Tom Jones! Smashing knockers...

[repeated line]

Elton John:
Right, I'm leaving!

Ronan Keating:
[Lyrics to Rock the Blind] I can see clearly now, the rain has gone!

Elton John:
I can see all obstacles in my way! [We see Lee and H dancing]

Sting:
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind! [While he sings, his indian friend walks past]

Cher:
[in a robotic voice] It's goin' be a bright, bright, bright, bright sun shiny day!

Shirley Bassey:
It's goin' be a bright, bright, bright sun shiny day! Champagne!

Eminem:
I think I can make it now. The pain is gone

Craig David:
Craig David!

Paul Simon:
[Lyrics continued] All of the...

Art Garfunkel:
[interrupting] ...all of the bad feelings have disappeared!

Craig David:
Craig David!

Ricky Martin:
Here's the rainbow I've been praying for!

[H and Lee look confused]

Tom Jones:
Look around, there's nothing but blue skies!

The Bee Gees:
Look straight ahead! There's nothing but blue...

Barry Gibb:
...skies!

Danny:
[Lyrics continued] I can see clearly now...

Noel:
...the rain is gone.

Noel/Danny:
I can see all obstacles in my way!

Gunner Steele:
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind!

Elton John:
It's goin' be a bright...

Heather Small:
...bright...

Sting:
...bright...

Heather Small:
...bright...

Unknown singer:
[Lyrics continued] ...sun shiny day!

Craig David:
Still Craig David!

Macy Gray:
It's goin' be a bright, bright, bright, bright sun shiny day! Them flies! Oh Lord!

LuLu:
It's goin' be a bright, bright, bright, bright sun shiny day!

Gunner Steele:
Keep you hands on your ha'penny!

Prince:
It's goin' be a bright, bright, bright, bright sun shiny day! Hey! You!

Ronan Keating:
It's goin' be a bright, bright sun shiny day! Bye bye!

Paul Simon:
[on his relationship with Art Garfunkel] As longs as we don't have to see or listen to each other, we get along just fine.