The Eric Andre Show

Dominic Monaghan:
So, when we die, there's between 8 and 12 minutes of brain activity when your heart stops. So, Timothy Leary had said that he was excited to see what that is when you die, because when you dream, there's only something like a minute and a half to two minutes of brain activity, so 12 minutes could feel like this endless dream. So, I'm hoping that I'll die and then I'll just dream for infinity.

Eric Andre:
ALL RIGHT! Tonight on the show, we got Sherman Hemsley! We got Leona Helmsley! We got Leona Lewis! We got Lewis Black! We got Jack Black! Frank Black! Frank Ocean! Ocean Philips! Philip Rivers! Rivers Cuomo!

[strangles himself with the microphone cord]

Eric Andre:
Mario Cuomo! Mario Batali! Anyone you f***ing want!

["We'll Be Right Back"]

[Sinbad stops the never-ending Wheel of Prizes]

Sinbad:
[completely dejected] I'll just move to North Korea. I'll just move. I'll just move to North Korea. OK?

Eric Andre:
OK.

Sinbad:
OK.

Eric Andre:
What do you think of Eric Andre?

Interviewee:
I'm glad he's dead.

Eric André:
After you take a poo, do you take some of the turds out of the toilet with chopsticks and you try to put them back inside your body just in case you missed out on any nutrients?

Thomas Jefferson was a black man