Then Came Bronson

Jim Bronson:
[After Jim is kissed by Monica] And if I laugh at any mortal thing. 'Tis that I may not weep; Lord Byron, from DON JUAN,Canto IV

Monica Balin:
Hey, where you been, Jim is going to ride in the rodeo, we have to hurry. Do you wnat to go?

Lori Balin:
I don't want to see him break his neck!

Jim Bronson:
Thanks!

Monica Balin:
[at the hot springs Monica starts to undress] I got mine underneath! [meaning bathing suit]

Jim Bronson:
Ohh! [pause] what about me, what do I get the bandana?

Monica Balin:
[sexy laugh and smile] I got one for you!

Jim Bronson:
Right.

Temple Brooks:
Jim, I want to be your friend.

Jim Bronson:
Ya know, when you take on a friend, you take on a lot.

Temple Brooks:
Where are my eggs?

Jim Bronson:
[said with a mouth full of them] Eggs?

Temple Brooks:
What about me?

Jim Bronson:
Like I said, "you don't work, you don't eat!"

Jim Bronson:
What's your name?

Temple Brooks:
I don't have one!

Jim Bronson:
Well everyone I have ever know had a name, that's really weird. My name is Jim incase your interested.

Temple Brooks:
Well I'm not!

Temple Brooks:
[to Jim] You almost killed me back there, what kind of a reject are you anyway?

Jim Bronson:
You ever work in a brickyard?

Temple Brooks:
What do you think...of course not!

Jim Bronson:
Ok, junior, I got us a job.

Inspector Otis:
[after Jim has decided to hit the road, he is talking with his police inspector buddy. The scene is at the Old China Basin house boat area in San Francisco] Somebody told me tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life!

[opening title sequense]

[Bronson drives his motorcycle next to a station wagon at a stoplight]

Businessman:
Taking a trip?

Jim Bronson:
What's that?

Businessman:
Taking a trip?

Jim Bronson:
Yeah.

Businessman:
Where to?

Jim Bronson:
Oh, I don't know. Wherever I end up, I guess.

Businessman:
Man, I wish I was you.

Jim Bronson:
Really?

Businessman:
Yeah.

Jim Bronson:
Well, hang in there.

Jim Bronson:
Petey, you believe in that too; that's good. And you should have a nice house, and a pretty yard and you should have all those things, and you should be able to earn it by printing the truth. I believe that, and one day, just maybe it will be popular, the truth, ok!

Mr. Mueller:
[talking to wife about his son, and Bronson's influence] What good is a man who must run or hide from temptation.

Dorothy Hofer:
[after she kisses Jim in the hayloft] I Just brought you some coffee.

Jim Bronson:
Argh! [grunting sound]

Dorothy Hofer:
Who were you thinking of, when you kissed me? [she was kissing him]

Jim Bronson:
I wasn't .... I wasn't thinking. I don't think you can solve your problems by going to bed with someone. [he says this in Ep. 15 also] Do you have any honey?

Dorothy Hofer:
Not on me! [in a meek voice, Heidi Vaughan was pure honey]

Hattie Calter:
[as she is beating her car with a tree branch] No manners young man, can't you see I need help?

Jim Bronson:
Oh!

Hattie Calter:
Well... are you going to help me move this thing [car] to kingdom come, or do I have to do it myself [as they push her car off the cliff]

Wilson Ford:
[after a hard days climb on the mountain at the campfire, Ford says to Bronson] Sometimes, I even like you, but those moments are fleeting, and they pass!

Alex:
Nora, I swear I will never ride that bike again.

Nora:
I am sorry to hear that, I was hoping you would give me a ride home.

Doris Hanrahan:
He needs a job.

Dr. Edward Hanrahan:
The runner seems to like your motorcycle Bronson, he realizes he could out run practically everybody with it, which is exactly what part of him would like to do

Jim Bronson:
Sounds a little bit like me.

Dr. Edward Hanrahan:
He's hired.

Morgana:
I can accept the death of the bull, because it brings out the beauty in a man.

Bella:
[sitting pool side in swimsuits] I am worried about your dignity.

Jim Bronson:
What? I need to put on a shirt?

Bella:
No, being forklifted by a longhorn.

Billy:
[talking to Jim] Let's step outside boy!

Jim Bronson:
You think we both can fit in your baby stroller?

Leona:
[pinching Billy's face] Don't you start a fight Billy!