Ed, Edd n Eddy's Big Picture Show

Ed:
[repeated throughout the film] Trouble... Bad!... BIG!

Sarah:
And... Action!

Jimmy:
Okay... Avast ye, for I, the great Keelhaul Crookshank, will swash your buckle and yardarm your sealeg...

Sarah:
Cut cut cut! [through a megaphone] what the heck was that? Say it like you mean it! You're the bloodthirsty scourge of the seven seas silly!

Jimmy:
I got it, Sarah!

Ed:
Oh oh, this-a-way guys! Look!

Edd:
"In case of movie break glass"?

Eddy:
BINGO! My bro's always prepared! [he pulls out a small peanut from inside the box]... A peanut?

Ed:
Cheap movie.

Eddy:
[laughing] You catch that, Ed? [to Edd] Uh, the what? I missed that. What's it called?

Edd:
It's called a sextant, an astronomical instrument used to... [Ed and Eddy starts laughing]

Eddy:
Again, sorry I missed it. What's it called?

Edd:
It's commonly known as a sextant, Eddy. [Ed and Eddy laughs more]

Ed:
Say it again, Double D!

Edd:
[ponders, then realizes what he said] Oh my!

Edd:
I think I'm gonna be sick!

Eddy:
Not in my brother's car, you're not!

Ed:
Double D's dark side makes my armpits sweat, Eddy.

Eddy:
What doesn't?

Rolf:
The Ed boys think they have played Rolf as a Tony Baloney, but they have yet to feel the wrath of THIS SON OF A SHEPHERD!

Edd:
[Ed and Eddy are fooling around, nearly destroying a new gadget Edd is using] Yes, well, it's all fun and games, but merry-making nearly cost us this sextant.

Eddy:
[awkward pause, after which Eddy snickers] You catch that, Ed? Uh, the what? I-I missed that, wh-what's it called?

Edd:
It's called a sextant, an astronomical instrument used to - [Ed and Eddy start giggling]

Eddy:
[regains his composure] Again. Sorry, I-I missed it. What's it called?

Edd:
[smiles, oblivious to what his friends are laughing at] It's commonly known as a sextant, Eddy.

Ed:
[He and Eddy burst into raucous laughter] Say it again, Double D! [both continue to laugh]

Edd:
[thinks for a second, then covers his mouth in embarrassment, blushing] Oh, my!

Rolf:
This is Rolf's word... dog.

Rolf:
Peel your onions, Ed-boys, and cry! There is no escaping a son of a shepherd!

Rolf:
Shed tears no more, fuss-bucket Nazz girl! Rolf will unearth the Ed-boys and squash them like the parasites that infest Wilfred's tookus! This is Rolf's word... dog.

Kevin:
Those thieves couldn't' have got far! I'm gettin' my bike!

Rolf:
Yes! Rolf will draw forth the...

Nazz:
Wait up, Kev!

Rolf:
[pause] Rolf will draw forth the Pitchfork of Retribution! The Ed-boys shall riddle Rolf's rind no more! Wilfred! To the shed!

Edd:
I've followed all the rules! Lived a life of decency and principle! So WHY didn't I trust my instincts? That one day, these short-sighted, sophomoric, show games would GO TOO FAR!

Ed:
Double D's darkside makes my armpits sweat, Eddy.

Eddy:
What doesn't?

Edd:
Lost souls are we, gentlemen! Doomed for eternity!

Eddy:
Lighten up, Sock Head! Hasn't Eddy always steered you right? Don't answer that. Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ed:
Ooh, oh, if I might partake in this chat: could we not join at the circus? Eddy could be the world's...

[grabs Eddy]

Eddy:
Hey, wait! Ow, stop! It doesn't go that way!

Ed:
...shortest elephant!

[contorts Eddy's face into an elephant head]

Ed:
And you, Double D, can be the clown!

Edd:
I suppose one could get used to the confining nature of tights...

Eddy:
Everyone loves us! We're finally in, baby!

Edd:
And it took 130 episodes, 4 specials, and a movie, Eddy...

Edd:
Eddy! Speak to me! Are you all right?

Eddy:
[sniffs] I made it all up DoubleD. Everything about my brother was a lie! I just made things up so people would like me, think I was cool. But boy was I wrong! The same, my brother, this... when am I gonna learn, DoubleD? [whimpers]

Edd:
[gently pulls Eddy's hands from his eyes] I think you just have Eddy.

[Eddy smiles]

Kevin:
Grab him!

[the Eds turn around to see Kevin, Rolf and Nazz charging at Eddy]

Ed:
No! Take me!

Eddy:
Okay! I'm sorry! Honest! I didn't mean to hurt you guys!

[Kevin, Rolf and Nazz throw Eddy up in the air in adulation instead of beating him up]

Eddy:
[Unable to take his Brother's beating any longer] Come on, bro. Give it up, will you?

Eddy's Brother:
Give it up? I thought you wanted to hang with your "hero".

Eddy:
I do, bro! I do!

Edd:
[Feeling very concerned of Eddy's Brother's behavior towards Eddy] Mister Eddy's Brother! As the oldest sibling, don't you think you should be setting a positive example for Eddy, instead of... [Then starts to get intimidated]... belittling him... on front of his... friends?

Eddy's Brother:
[to everyone on front of him] Belittle? He's always been little! [Then turns to Edd] I like you, girlfriend. [He then uses Eddy like a hammer and literally nails Edd to the ground, with his ski hat sticking out] You got spunk.

Ed and Marie Kanker:
Double D!

Sarah:
What the heck?

Jimmy:
Somebody do something!

Rolf:
[Starting to get infuriated with Eddy's Brother] Rolf has had enough of your flat doodle, elder one! Prepare yourself for a merciless thrashing! [Then pulls Kevin toward Eddy's Brother]

Kevin:
[Now standing up against Eddy's Brother] Hey! Bro guy! Lay off him, man!

Nazz:
[Also standing up against him] Yeah, Mister Macho Man! [the rest of the kids are then standing up against him]

Eddy's Brother:
[Ed, in spite of his dim-witted personality, has successfully defeated Eddy's Brother by pulling out the door hinge bolt, which causes the door, pulled hardly by Eddy being pulled by his Brother, to be flinged real hard into Eddy's Brother's face. He then gets dizzy] Uuhh... uncle... [Then fainted, knocked out cold to the ground]

Eddy:
[Unable to take his Brother's beating any longer] Come on, bro. Give it up, will you?

Eddy's Brother:
Give it up? I thought you wanted to hang with your "hero".

Eddy:
I do, bro! I do!

Edd:
[Feeling very concerned of Eddy's Brother's behavior towards Eddy] Mister Eddy's Brother! As the oldest sibling, don't you think you should be setting an example for Eddy, and not... [Then starts to get intimidated]... belittling him... on front of his... friends?

Eddy's Brother:
[to everyone on front of him] Belittle? He's always been little! [Then turns to Edd] I like you, girlfriend. [He then uses Eddy like a hammer and literally nails Edd to the ground, with his ski hat sticking out] You got spunk.

Ed and Marie Kanker:
Double D!

Sarah:
What the heck?

Jimmy:
Somebody do something!

Rolf:
[Starting to get infuriated with Eddy's Brother] Rolf has had enough of your flat doodle, elder one! Prepare yourself for a merciless thrashing! [Then pulls Kevin toward Eddy's Brother]

Kevin:
[Now standing up against Eddy's Brother] Hey! Bro guy! Lay off him, man!

Nazz:
[Also standing up against him] Yeah, Mister Macho Man! [the rest of the kids are then standing up against him]

Eddy's Brother:
[Ed, in spite of his dim-witted personality, has successfully defeated Eddy's Brother by pulling out the door hinge bolt, which causes the door, pulled hardly by Eddy being pulled by his Brother, to be flinged real hard into Eddy's Brother's face. He then gets dizzy] Uuhh... uncle... [Then fainted, knocked out cold to the ground]

Ed:
Can your brother send me brainwaves, too, Eddy?

Eddy:
If only you had a brain, Ed!

Ed:
Come on, Eddy, have a heart!

Edd:
[Panting] Courage... courage, Eddward.

Kevin:
Nazz, we gotta find out where those twerps went off to, and hit 'em off. I'm pretty sure they won't be coming back to the Cal-de-Sac. Not after what they did.

Nazz:
That'd be the last thing they oughta do! They're like, such cowards!

Kevin:
Good one, Nazz. Say, you got one of those hairpin things?

Nazz:
Totally! [Hands Kevin hairpin to fix his bike]

Kevin:
Cowards run and hide, right? So who's the one person in the world that Eddy trusts besides his two loser pals?

Nazz:
What about his brother?

Kevin:
That little twerp wouldn't have the... THAT'S IT! We're goin' to Eddy's brother's place! Nazz, you're awesome, babe. [Hugs Nazz] HOLD IT! [Throws Nazz down] Eddy's brother'll murder us if he finds out we're after his little brother! We're wastin' time! We gotta find those dorks before they get there! If they get there before we get there, they'll never get theirs!

Nazz:
What?

Kevin:
Never mind. Just come on!

Eddy's Brother:
Park don't open 'til noon.

Eddy:
I told you he's a whiz at tellin' time!

Eddy's Brother:
Pipsqueak?

Eddy:
Bro!

Eddy's Brother:
Mom and Dad know you're here?

Eddy:
As if!

Eddy's Brother:
Anyone know you're here?

Eddy:
Only these chumps who chased us here!

Eddy's Brother:
Just a sec. Aren't those ankle biters from the cul-de-sac?

Eddy:
Yeah, and they want to beat me up, all for nothin'.

Kevin:
He's lookin at you, Rolf. Later.

Eddy's Brother:
"All for nothin'", huh? Still the trouble makin' Eddy, I see.

Eddy:
[awkward laugh] Stop it, bro.

Ed:
I smell my fingers after I eat cheese.

Eddy:
Um, I told the guys you'd put us up. Ed and Double D.

Edd:
I have big experie- Uh, whale- uh... [faints]

[Eddy and his brother laugh]

Eddy's Brother:
Just for old times' sake, let's play uncle.

Eddy:
Uncle?

Eddy's Brother:
Wanna crash at my place, don't ya?

Eddy:
That's why we came all the way– [his brother twists his leg] Uncle! Uncle! Uncle!

Eddy's Brother:
Say what?

Eddy:
Uncle, uncle, uncle!

Edd:
Oh, my!

Eddy's Brother:
[Laughing cruelly] That was good, pipsqueak.

Eddy:
Can we go inside now?

Eddy's Brother:
Why not? Don't forget to wipe your feet.[repeatedly throws Eddy into the trailer wall]

Eddy:
[badly bruised] Come on, bro. Give it up!

Eddy's Brother:
"Give it up"? I thought you wanted to hang with your "hero".

Eddy:
I do, bro! I do!

Edd:
Mister Eddy's Brother! As the older sibling, don't you think you should rather be setting an example for Eddy, and not, um... belittle him... in front of his... friends?

Eddy's Brother:
Belittle? He's always been little! I like you, girlfriend. [hammers Edd into the ground using Eddy] You got spunk.

Jonny:
The time of reckoning is now, rapscallions! IT'S MELON TIME!

Eddy:
WHERE'D HE COME FROM? Jonny! No! Wait!

Jonny:
No thanks are necessary, citizens.

Sarah:
You idiot! Leave our friends alone!

Kevin:
Back off, melon dweeb!

Rolf:
Leave some produce for Rolf!

Kevin:
Sorry about that. Say, let's go to my place. Jawbreakers are on me!

Eddy:
We did it, Double D! Everyone loves us! We're finally in, baby!

Edd:
And it only took 130 episodes, 4 specials and a movie, Eddy!

Ed:
Let's sing a song! [the Eds and the kids (except Jonny, who is pounded by the kids) then sing "Friends are There to Help You", with the "second verse" which is the "same as the first"]

Jimmy:
[singing] When you stub your toe and it hurts you know…

The Kids (except for Jonny and including the Eds): [singing] ...Friends are there to help you. When you trip on your face and your teeth are misplaced, friends are there to help you. When you're flying low and you're giving a show, friends are there to help you. When you take off your shoe and your feet stink PEE-YEW, friends are there to help you.

[As the kids sing the song, Wilfred eats out of Captain Melonhead's downed helmet. The Kankers are focused on something else entirely:
dragging Eddy's brother inside.]

Lee:
First one inside gets to give him mouth to mouth! [When the Kankers finish putting Eddy's brother inside, Marie reattaches the door and shortly thereafter, a flurry of girlish giggling erupts.]

Jimmy:
Second verse, same as the first! [singing] When you stub your toe and it hurts you know…

The Kids (including Jonny too this time with the Eds): [singing] ...Friends are there to help you. When you trip on your face and your teeth are misplaced, friends are there to help you. When you're flying low and you're giving a show, friends are there to help you. When you take off your shoe and your feet stink PEE-YEW, friends are there to help you.

[After Eddy's brother is defeated]

Edd:
Eddy, speak to me! Are you alright?

Eddy:
[wakes up and removes Edd's arms away from him] I made it all up, Double D! Everything about my brother was a lie. I just made things up so people would like me. Think I was cool. But boy was I wrong. The scam, my brother...this...when am I gonna learn, Double D? [tears leak from his eyes]

Edd:
I think you just have, Eddy.

[Eddy grins, glad his friends still accept him]

Jonny:
This is your craazzyest plan ever, Plank! We'll show them! WE'LL SHOW THEM ALL! What's that? They did, didn't they? Yeeeaahhh... The goody-goody-two-shoe days of Captain Melonhead and Splinter have come to an end! And out of the darkness will rise the villainous days of the Gourd! And his evil cohort, Timber, the Dark Shard! Together, we will exact revenge, on the entire CUL! DE!! SAC!!!

Plank:

Jonny:
What?

Plank:

Jonny:
There's no time left?

Plank:

Jonny:
It's the end of the movie? What movie?