Jericho

Captain Devin Ross:
[narrating] Each of us is a specialist in one of the arcane arts. The army calls what we do "covert occult warfare". That's just a fancy euphemism for "witches with guns". There was a time when the church would have burned people like use as heretics and monsters. Now, we fight their wars for them.

Lieutenant Abigail Black:
God, I hate the f***ing desert.

Captain Xavier Jones:
Pretend it's the beach.

Sergeant Frank Delgado:
[to Black] Hey, Abbey, I got a joke for you. How many telekinetic lesbian snipers does it take to clear a road?

Sergeant Frank Delgado:
[after Black has been possessed by Ross] Hey, congratulations, Abbey! Now you finally know what it's like to have a man inside you.

Lieutenant Abigail Black:
F*** you.

Father Paul Rawlings:
[in battle] It is so much easier to spread the gospel with a full clip!

Father Paul Rawlings:
[in battle] Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition!

Sergeant Wilhelmina 'Billie' Church:
[upon defeating an enemy] Get up, you piece of sh*t.

Sergeant Wilhelmina 'Billie' Church:
[upon defeating an enemy] You just got your ass kicked by a girl.

Hanne Lichthammer:
[to Rawlings] Arrogant bastard! You dare to address me? I will tear your manhood from you and feed it to your witch-whores.

Hanne Lichthammer:
[Church is restraining Lichthammer by tying her to a gate while Cole stands guard] Your pimp has taught you well. So obedient! Where did you ever find them, Father?

Father Paul Rawlings:
Ignore her. I've been doing this for forty years and they still can't think of a single original thing to say.

Hanne Lichthammer:
Original? How's this for original? [referring to Church] The blood-witch wants you to f*** her the way her father did. Isn't that right?

Arnold Leach:
[taunting Ross] Doesn't it get old, Devin? Every time we make contact with something greater than ourselves, your masters send you out to destroy it. Don't you ever bother to ask yourself why? What kind of magician are you?

Bishop Maltheus St. Claire:
Have you come to confess your sins, my children?

Captain Xavier Jones:
We were just... leaving.

Bishop Maltheus St. Claire:
How dare you defile this holy place and make demands, heretic? You reek of sin! Kneel before me and be cleansed!

Lieutenant Abigail Black:
What's he saying?

Sergeant Frank Delgado:
Same sh*t they told me when I was expelled from Catholic school, and I'm gonna give him the same answer.

Bishop Maltheus St. Claire:
[to the Child Crusaders; dying words] I... I loved you. I loved you all. You were my children. My sweet, sweet children...

Captain Xavier Jones:
[upon being revived in battle] I guess beer's on me.

The Firstborn:
Silence, b*tch!

Sergeant Frank Delgado:
Remember the good old days when we were the scariest thing on the block?

Sergeant Frank Delgado:
Knee-deep in blood and sh*t... business as usual, eh?

Sergeant Frank Delgado:
[upon defeating a Corpses Behemoth] Just another day at the office.

Sergeant Wilhelmina 'Billie' Church:
[upon encountering an enemy] Yeah, yeah, that's what they all say, b*tch...

Lieutenant Abigail Black:
[Black, Delgado and Church have just entered the children's crypt] Look at the coffins... they're small.

Sergeant Frank Delgado:
Yeah, but are they occupied? That's what I wanna know.

Lieutenant Abigail Black:
Why don't you check?

Sergeant Frank Delgado:
Are you on crack, bruja?