Team Fortress 2: The INVASION Update

Team Fortress 2: The INVASION Update

Captain John:
[two characters in face-obscuring spacesuits on a foreign planet appear in a film the BLU Team is watching at night] Keep your wits about you, Doctor Fisher. Our exploration may very well turn, to danger.

Doctor Fisher:
Danger, Captain? But what danger could there be here?

Captain John:
Nothing. This lifeless planet is completely devoid of life. No life forms living on it whatsoever. Except for [pause, turns to Dr. Fisher] the creatures that live here. From our gathered intelligence, we know that these monsters are among the most deadly in the entire cosmos. [we see the mercenaries' various reactions to the film, including the Demoman disregarding his 3D glasses and the Scout curled up in fear]

Captain John:
These bloodthirsty beasts are creatures of hate and habitual violence. All we know, all their kind has ever known, is to kill. And we're pretty sure they can shoot lasers out of their eyes.

Doctor Fisher:
Oh, Captain...

Captain John:
Never fear, Doctor. We'll be able to get off this rock once we sample the tachion energy crystals, use it to re-energize the ship's warp drive, and use the resonating positrons to refuel our ship with the power of atomic energy. [Engineer chuckles]

Doctor Fisher:
I couldn't have said it better than myself. [the Engineer hears something outside, and goes to investigate]

Doctor Fisher:
Captain! Your radar!

Captain John:
I'm picking up reading of tachion crystals nearby. Doctor, I need you - [the Engineer goes outside to find the Pyro sitting down. Pyro points up at the sky at an approaching flying saucer. Back inside the barn, the film continues]

Doctor Fisher:
Captain? John? Is that you? [the rest of the team in the barn prepare for the noise they hear outside]

Doctor Fisher:
John, are you there? Say something! [Pyro watches a rock levitate from the ground. Camera zooms in on the film]

Doctor Fisher:
AAH! [the film falls apart when the projector falls down]


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