Coach

Coach Hayden Fox:
You think I didn't respect you Christine, but the truth is, I didn't even think of you.

Coach Hayden Fox:
You graduated from college and now you won't wash my car?

Dauber:
Uh-Huh

Coach Hayden Fox:
You see, this is why I hate education.

Coach Hayden Fox:
We've got pie!

Assistant Coach Luther Horatio Van Dam:
I've made out my will, and I'd like you to be my executioner.

Coach Hayden Fox:
I think you mean "executor."

Assistant Coach Luther Horatio Van Dam:
You're the only man that I can look in the eye and say "I love you." And I know you love me, Even thought you don't say it. I mean, I don't expect you to say it all the time, you know. Wouldn't KILL you every once in a while, though!

Coach Hayden Fox:
You wouldn't by any chance be a homosexual would ya?

Terry Wilcox:
Yeah Coach. I'm gay.

Coach Hayden Fox:
Are ya *sure*?

Coach Hayden Fox:
You're saying Terry's gay?! What in the hell did you do to him?

Coach Hayden Fox:
[Dauber has just admitted he kissed another woman] I know women. You wanna know how you make this right with Judy?

Dauber:
Well ya.

Coach Hayden Fox:
You gotta bury it! Bury it! Bury it with a shovel and then bury the shovel!

Coach Hayden Fox:
[Dauger has just admitted he kissed another woman] I know women. You wanna know how you make this right with Judy?

Dauber:
Well ya.

Coach Hayden Fox:
You gotta bury it! Bury it! Bury it with a shovel and then bury the shovel!

Christine Armstrong:
What's that supposed to mean?

Coach Hayden Fox:
If you don't know what it means, I'm not gonna tell you what it means.

Coach Hayden Fox:
Christine, It's an evil world out there.

Coach Hayden Fox:
What does *that* mean?

Christine Armstrong:
If you don't know, I'm not gonna tell you.

Coach Hayden Fox:
I forbid you to go!

Christine Armstrong:
What was that?

Coach Hayden Fox:
You heard me! I said, "I'd really appreciate it if you'd reconsider!"

Assistant Coach Luther Horatio Van Dam:
[Luther has accidentally thrown Hayden's rope ladder out of his tower] Oh my god we're gonna die! We're gonna freeze to death up here! This spring somebody'll walk by and smell something.

Coach Hayden Fox:
Geez, Luther! Show a little sensitivity! The man's wife has passed away. Quit beating a dead horse!