Fool's Gold

Andras:
[after seeing Gemma's hat fly off in the wind] Hey look! The hat! He is a Frisbee.

Tess' Attorney:
Florida didn't ruin your life, you did. You married the guy for sex, then expected him to be smart.

Ben 'Finn' Finnegan:
[to his investors, after he accidentally sunk his boat] Hey, boats sink! No one knows why!

Moe Fitch:
Come on, I'm getting old. Let's find some gold!

Moe Fitch:
Well, well, well. If it isn't the Ukrainian sidekick.

Alfonz:
I don't think of myself that way. I am the lead character in my own story.

Alfonz:
[to Finn] It's difficult to maintain enthusiasm for your leadership when you keep getting beat up by that old man.

Tess Finnegan:
Your uselessness is epic.

Tess Finnegan:
It's not here.

Ben 'Finn' Finnegan:
I refuse to believe that.

Tess Finnegan:
Well, just because you refuse to believe something doesn't make it true. Or false. Or... whatever the hell I'm saying.

Ben 'Finn' Finnegan:
Something wrong, Tess?

Tess Finnegan:
Something wrong? Why would anything be wrong? We just had sex in a church - and we're not even married - and now we're gonna dig up a grave! I mean, what is that, like a triple sin? I'm surprised we haven't been struck by lightning.

Moe Fitch:
[after Finn jumps from the water onto the plane to save Tess] Now that's a man that loves his wife!

Tess Finnegan:
Nigel, I'm so sorry, but she's gotta learn that there's better ways to get attention than acting like a bimbo.

Alfonz:
Like what?

On Screen Text:
[first lines, the text that appears on screen] On July 24th, 1715, in celebration of the marriage of King Philip of Spain, the largest treasure fleet in maritime history set sail from Havana, Cuba.

On Screen Text:
The 500 million dollars worth of gold, silver and jewels came to be known as The Queen's Dowry.

On Screen Text:
Unfortunately, in his eagerness to consummate the marriage, King Philip ordered the fleet to sail at the worst time of year.

On Screen Text:
And so, the great galleons, heavy with their sparkling cargo, sailed straight into a massive hurricane...

On Screen Text:
...and were never seen again.