Marvel One-Shot: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Thor's Hammer

Clerk:
[Coulson has just thwarted an armed robbery of the store] Wait. What should I tell the police?

Agent Coulson:
Tell them those Tae-Bo tapes really paid off.

Robber 1:
Who owns that car outside?

Agent Coulson:
[In the aisles] I do [Robber points gun at him] but it's really more like a lease.

Robber 2:
Toss the keys over here.

Agent Coulson:
Okay, okay.

Robber 1:
C'mon! [Coulson throws his keys, the robber turns to the clerk] Empty the cash registrar, start filling this bag with cigarettes, pa...

Agent Coulson:
[Interrupts] Excuse me [Robbers turn] I also have this gun, you'll probably be needing that.