The Beguiled

Hallie:
Mr. Yankee, there was enough iron in your leg to shoe a horse!

Cpl. John McBurney:
I've just been thinking about all the advantages a one-legged man has. He saves on socks. He doesn't have to worry about trimming as many toenails... fewer corns and bunions. I've been contemplating asking her to cut off the other one.

Martha Farnsworth:
If the pain gets too great, I'll ask Hallie to bring you some (wine).

Cpl. John McBurney:
Well, this does seem like a good occasion, and I would love some wine.

Martha Farnsworth:
It was offered for your pain, not for your pleasure!

Cpl. John McBurney:
To be sure, ma'am. It's just that sometimes the two go together.

Hallie:
Miss Martha said I should shave you. But I ain't so sure. [examining his face] I don't think the Lord want a man's face all smooth like a baby's bottom. That's why he gave him whiskers. Might be a sin to shave that group off.

Cpl. John McBurney:
[huskily] Then don't do it. Sinning oughta be saved for *much* more important things!

Hallie:
I better shave you! Miss Martha give me my orders. Not the Lord.

Martha Farnsworth:
Removing the ligatures will be painful. Do you want some laudanum?

Cpl. John McBurney:
No thanks, kind lady! I'll fall asleep, and then just by chance, you might cut off my... other leg.