Trouble Along the Way

Steve Aloysius Williams:
Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing

Father Burke:
You'll find the answer in Deuteronomy, Chapter 32, Verse 15. [the other priests look at one another] Well, well? Is there a Bible in the house, or do you have to go to a hotel?

Steve Aloysius Williams:
[talking football] What system do you use?

Father Malone:
'Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.' But, usually, the others do it to us first.

Steve Aloysius Williams:
How'd you do last season?

Father Malone:
We showed up for every game.

Steve Aloysius Williams:
I'd say that was raw courage.

Steve Aloysius Williams:
[Last lines] Welcome to the ranks of the unemployed, Father.

Father Burke:
Only one of us. You'll be back here again next season.

Steve Aloysius Williams:
Me?

Father Burke:
Yes. Read the fine print in your contract. It says "If desired by the College, this agreement may be extended for twelve months."

Steve Aloysius Williams:
I never saw that.

Father Burke:
It's in Latin.

[the bell of the chapel clock tower strikes four. One clock face says 4:
10, the other says 3:50. Father Burke looks at his watch]

Father Burke:
Right on the dot.

[On one of the clock faces, the minute hand slips and falls straight down to the half-hour position]

Steve Aloysius Williams:
Oh, it's a fine game, football - noble game. Originated in England in 1823. An enterprising young man named William Weber Ellis - who studied for the ministry, by the way - found his team behind in a soccer game, so he picked up the ball, and ran through the amazed opponents for a thoroughly illegal touchdown. And that's how football was born - illegitimately. So, it moved to America where someone took advantage of a loophole in the rules, and invented a little formation called the Flying Wedge. So many young men were maimed and killed by this clever maneuver that President Roosevelt - Theodore Roosevelt - had to call the colleges together and ask them to make the game less brutal. He was, of course, defeated in the next election. In spite of this setback, football became an industry. The price of a good running back often surpassed the salary of a professor. And when some righteous committee unearthed this well-known fact, there was always a coach that took it on the chin. I just got tired of picking myself up.

Steve Aloysius Williams:
What do you know about love? I think love is watching your child go off to school for the first time alone... sitting beside a sick kid's bed waiting for the doctor, praying it isn't polio... or that cold chill you get when you hear the screech of brakes, and know your kid's outside on the street some place... and a lot of other things you get can't get out of books, 'cause nobody knows how to write 'em down.

Carol Williams:
Steve says winning isn't everything; it's the only thing.

Carol Williams:
Like Steve says: Winning isn't everything - it's the only thing!

Steve Aloysius Williams:
Couldn't he have booked one protestant school along the way... for a breather?

Mike Edwards:
[Mike won't offer Steve or Father Burke any financial credit for purchasing football equipment] It's no dice, Steve. We don't give credit to busted schools. Those boys of yours will have to play in their underwear.

Steve Aloysius Williams:
Michael, my own, I wouldn't do that if I were you.

Mike Edwards:
Why not?

Steve Aloysius Williams:
When I was buying a hundred grand worth of equipment a season, I was a pretty big man around here. Got ten percent off. Of course I had to kick five percent back to somebody in this outfit. And I'm sure the boss doesn't know about this. I wonder if it's cricket to keep him in the dark?

Mike Edwards:
[Promptly goes back out to address Father Burke] Father, will Saturday be soon enough for the delivery?

Steve Aloysius Williams:
[the academic abilities of his newly recruited players has come into question] Why is it that the minute a boy with a fine physique enters college, his intellect is immediately suspect?