Wedding Rehearsal

Marquis of Buckminster:
Thank you.

Marquis of Buckminster:
Heads, morning room; tails, music room... Morning room.

Marquis of Buckminster:
Oh, all right, I'll marry somebody.

Dowager Marchioness of Buckminster:
"Somebody"! Do you know how many girls there are for you to choose from?

Marquis of Buckminster:
Roughly 6,000,000, aren't there?

Dowager Marchioness of Buckminster:
Exactly 7 young women who are fit to bear our name, and your children.

Marquis of Buckminster:
Oh...

Dowager Marchioness of Buckminster:
That is, in England.

Marquis of Buckminster:
That's right, dear, buy British, yes. Well, come on, tell me the worst.

Dowager Marchioness of Buckminster:
My first choice, the Roxbury twins.

Marquis of Buckminster:
Both of them?

Dowager Marchioness of Buckminster:
Either of them.

Derek Dryden:
I thought you told me you were spending the evening with a WOMAN friend!

Mrs. Dryden:
Yes, but you didn't tell me YOU were!

Earl of Stokeshire:
Nobody's a nobody who marries a somebody who's anybody! I - I mean, anybody who marries a somebody who - who - who's a nobody - becomes ipse facto... uhh... I mean, at any rate, it's entirely my business!

Dowager Marchioness of Buckminster:
Here he is again. "Lord Buckminster will fulfill his usual role of best man." This time, at the Roxbury wedding. I do wish he'd choose a girl for himself.

Miss Hutchinson:
Do men ever do that, Lady Buckminster?

Dowager Marchioness of Buckminster:
Of course they do; whatever do you mean?

Miss Hutchinson:
Why, the girl usually chooses the man, and then makes him think he's done it himself!

Dowager Marchioness of Buckminster:
What a dreadful idea, and how right you are!

News Editor:
Hold the edition! Clear column 1 and 2, front page. What? The Vesuvius eruption, 50,000 dead? The danger of war in southern Europe? Oh, spike it, throw it out - it's the Binley-Foster wedding!

Marquis of Buckminster:
Hutchie! Hutchie, I believe you're the tie I gave to my butler!

Miss Hutchinson:
Tie?

Marquis of Buckminster:
Oh, you know, darling... thing that goes round your neck.