It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 12

Dennis:
That’s weird, because the situation really isn’t funny.

Mac:
I know, but the laughing tells me when it’s funny.

Frank:
Having those other people laugh tells me when I should laugh.

Dennis:
And the music I added makes you know that it’s light!

Frank:
You know what, Chet. Can I say something?

Dennis:
I think you've said enough

Frank:
You have to understand that Boko Haram did not do 9/11. That was Al Queda. Paris, that was ISIS. Boko Haram is focusing... they're doing Africa. There are mosquitoes down there that are bigger terrorist than Boko Haram.

Charlie:
Oh, man, look at this. Dog shit.

Mac:
Did you just step in that on purpose?

Charlie:
Oh, no, I just... you know, I didn't really see it.

Mac:
You pointed it out to me!

Charlie:
All right, fine. I voluntarily stepped in the dog shit so that I would smell of dog shit. Happy?

Dennis:
Less happy. Why would it make me happy?

Charlie:
I was trying to cover up the smell of the skunk that I let spray me so that there would be no questions.

Dennis:
Well, now I have more questions.

Charlie:
Of course you do.

Dennis:
Like, why did you let a skunk spray you?

Charlie:
To cover the smell of cologne, man.

Dennis:
Oh, man. You know what? Go to the beginning. Go to the first smell! The first smell that begat all the other smells!

Charlie:
The first smell was cigarettes! I 've been smoking with Dee! All right?

Dee:
[Laughing] I got you! I got you! I'm your rock bottom? I'm your rock. That's your rock bottom, sticking your dick in your daughter's face, you son of a bitch.

Rickety Cricket:
You guys mind if I go in the bathroom and smoke some PCP?

Charlie:
I've tried everything for years with you. And I just at this point, I just don't know what else to say.

Waitress:
Oh, my God! Stop saying things to me. Don't you understand that this is never gonna happen, so let it go.

Charlie:
Look, why? You won't ever tell me why. You just say no, and you won't give me a shot. I don't understand what's so terrible about me.

Waitress:
What's so great about me, Charlie? What's wrong with you? Why are you so obsessed with me? I mean, you said it yourself, I'm a mess. So, why don't you just go find somebody better?

Charlie:
Well... 'cause there is no one better. And I love you.