- A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. Josh Billings »
- A man running for office puts me in mind of a dog that's lost--he smells everybody he meets, and wags himself all over. Josh Billings »
- About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment. Josh Billings »
- After enlightenment, the laundry. Josh Billings »
- As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand. Josh Billings »
- Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there. Josh Billings »
- Don't take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail then you can let go when you want to. Josh Billings »
- Every man has his follies -- and often they are the most interesting thing he has got. Josh Billings »
- Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt of, not swallowed. Josh Billings »
- Good nonsense is good sense in disguise. Josh Billings »
- I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I am most certain of the first time. Josh Billings »
- I never question a success, any more than I do the right of a bulldog to lie in his own gateway. Josh Billings »
- It ain't what folks know that's the problem, it's what they know that ain't so. Josh Billings »
- It is true that wealth won't make a man virtuous, but I notice there ain't anybody who wants to be poor just for the purpose of being good. Josh Billings »
- It's a wise man who profits by his own experience, but it's a good deal wiser one who lets the rattlesnake bite the other fellow. Josh Billings »
- It's not only the most difficult thing to know one's self, but the most inconvenient. Josh Billings »
- Knowledge is like money the more he gets, the more he craves. Josh Billings »
- Laughing is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one spot. Josh Billings »
- Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well. Josh Billings »
- Like other occult techniques of divination, the statistical method has a private jargon deliberately contrived to obscure its methods from non-practitioners. Josh Billings »
- Love looks through a telescope envy, through a microscope. Josh Billings »
- Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it. Josh Billings »
- One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness. Josh Billings »
- Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does. Josh Billings »
- Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. Josh Billings »
- Some folks as they grow older grow wise, but most folks simply grow stubborner. Josh Billings »
- The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way. Josh Billings »
- The fools in this world make about as much trouble as the wicked do. Josh Billings »
- The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm. Josh Billings »
- The time to pray is not when we are in a tight spot but just as soon as we get out of it. Josh Billings »
- There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness. Josh Billings »
- There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply. Josh Billings »
- We hate those who will not take our advice, and despise them who do. Josh Billings »
- What is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul I suppose this depends somewhat upon the size of the soul. I think there are cases where the trade would do. Josh Billings »
- When a man makes up his mind to become a rascal, he should examine himself closely and see if he isn't better constructed for a fool. Josh Billings »
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