|An occasional lucky guess as to what makes a wife tick is the best a man can hope for, Even then, no sooner has he learned how to cope with the tick than she tocks.|
|A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.|
|A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.|
|He without benefit of scruples His fun and money soon quadruples.|
|I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.|
|If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.|
|Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.|
|Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.|
|Nietsche is Pietsche."|
|Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave When they think that their children are nave.|
|Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.|
|People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it.|
|People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.|
|Progress might have been all right once but it has gone on too long.|
|Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long.|
|Progress might have been all right once, but it went on too long.|
|The Preacher, the Politicain, the Teacher,|
Were each of them once a kiddie.
A child, indeed, is a wonderful creature.
Do I want one? God Forbiddie!
|To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it Whenever you're right, shut up.|
|When there are monsters there are miracles.|