Christmas Special

Ms. Yvonne:
Aren't you going to comment on my hair?

Pee-wee:
Wow! Christmasy! But what's the plant growin' out of it?

Ms. Yvonne:
It's mistletoe! You're always supposed to kiss somebody if they're standing underneath the mistletoe! This way, I'm assured hundreds and hundreds of kisses from everyone!

Ms. Yvonne:
Oh, don't worry. There's enough of me for everybody!

Ricardo:
Felis Navidad, Pee-Wee! That means Merry Christmas in Spanish. Say it! Felis Navidad...

Pee-wee:
Felis Nabeeblah...

Ricardo:
Felis Navidad...

Pee-wee:
Felis NaBeeBLAH...

Ricardo:
Right...

Pee-wee:
That was Cher! Cher was right over there! In the same room as my chair! I hope I didn't stare! Oh well! I don't care!

Little Richard:
You know what they say Pee-Wee, if at first you don't succeed, you get back up and you try... and you try... and you try it again... except ice skating, I give up, I quit!

Pee-wee:
Ooooh, snow! Snowflakes! Snow drifts! Ew, yellow snow!

Pee-wee:
Now I'm going to make an angel in the snow. If you don't have snow at home, just use 80 pounds of coconut shavings!

Pee-wee:
I was kind of wondering if I could have an extra wish.

Jambi:
Extra wish? You want an extra wish? What do you think this is, Christmas?

Pee-wee:
Well... Yeah.

Jambi:
Oh. Okay.

Dinah Shore:
On the 500th day of Christmas my true love gave to me... 500 bags of nachos, 499 body builders, 498 dancing penguins...

Pee-wee:
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, and I hope everything on my list will be there.

Pee-wee:
You're the greatest Santa there ever was!

Santa Claus:
I know you are, but what am I?

Pee-wee:
I'm going to have to call you back, I got Dinah Shore on the other line.

Pee-wee:
Excuse me, Miss Yvonne, but before you go making out with everybody in the playhouse, how about forking over that gift?

Pee-wee:
Hi, Magic, what are you doing inside the Magic Screen?

Frankie Avalon:
Pee-Wee, we've finished the Christmas cards.

Annette Funicello:
Exactly 1,000.

Pee-wee:
Ooh, let me count them. Ha ha, just kidding. Now you can start making the envelopes.

Pee-wee:
Hi, Pee-wee, Merry Christmas. I was just wondering if I could be on your Christmas special.

Pee-wee:
I'm awfully sorry, Whoopi, but I've already booked too many stars as it is.

Whoopi Goldberg:
Oh. Well, what about next year?

Pee-wee:
Next year's special is already booked too. I might be able to squeeze you into the Christmas special two years from now.

Whoopi Goldberg:
Oh, well thank you, Pee-Wee. You would do that for me?

Pee-wee:
I'm not promising you anything, Whoopi.

Cowboy Curtis:
You know, Pee-Wee, they say if you stare at a snowman long enough, it'll come to life.

King Of Cartoons:
Guess what I've got for you, Pee-Wee?

Pee-wee:
It's not a fruit cake, is it?

King Of Cartoons:
No, of course not. It's two fruit cakes.

Pee-wee:
Do you get presents on Hanukkah?

Mrs. Rene:
'Do you get presents on Hanukkah?' We exchange gifts eight nights in a row.

Pee-wee:
Wow!

Mrs. Rene:
So just in case I miss you, here are seven more fruit cakes.

Pee-wee:
Christmas is the time we should be thinking about what we can do for others.

Pee-wee:
Alright, I'll just take your stocking down.

Little Richard:
If God had wanted me to ice skate I would have been born with skinny feet and a little head.