Life or Something Like It

Pete:
Do you have another cameraman who can make her look like a natural blonde?

Lanie:
I'm a TV personality. My hair is my trademark. Just like the "I don't like to shower" look is your trademark.

Deborah Conners:
You... go.

Lanie:
You mean like "you go girl"?

Deborah Conners:
No. Just go.

Lanie:
Well, I hope you're happy.

Pete:
Define happiness.

Lanie:
Your death.

Andrea:
You're late.

Lanie:
I'm not late. You're early.

Andrea:
I ate cheese.

Cal:
Is this you breaking up with me? Well will you think about it for a minute?

Lanie:
A minute just seems like a really long time to waste.

Lanie:
I met a homeless guy and he had a vision.

Cal:
What like Espn?

Lanie:
No, he had ESP! There's no N.

Lanie:
Someone once said, live everyday as if it were your last cause one of these its gonna be. Jack was right a part of me did die that day the part of me that didn't know how to live. What does the future hold, Jack knows. But when I talk to him I make sure we only talk about sports and weather.

Jack:
Watch your step on your way out.

Lanie:
Saw that in a vision, did you?

Jack:
No. I trip in that crack all the time.

Pete:
Did you ever hear the saying, "A picture holds a thousand words."

Lanie:
That's only for people like you who don't know a thousand words.

Pete:
I know two, and the first one begins with an "F".

Lanie:
What would you do if you only had a week to live?

Pete:
I would go to all the people I care about, and I would try memorize their faces.

Lanie Kerrigan:
Under the circumstances, I think it would be best if we kept things on a purely professional level.

Pete Scanlon:
Define "the circumstances".

Lanie Kerrigan:
We have to work together. We don't have to like it.

Lanie Kerrigan:
You don't bother me. You can't. Because no matter how you would like to define it, I can honestly say, at this point, my life is perfect.

Pete Scanlon:
Define perfection.

Prophet Jack:
And next Thursday. You're going to die. I'm sorry.

[Lanie walked away with no words]

Prophet Jack:
I didn't ask for the power.

Lanie Kerrigan:
[to Pete] If I find out you were up to this, I will never speak to you as long as I live.

Prophet Jack:
Watch your step on your way out.

[Lanie trips in a crack and breaks the heel off her shoe]

Lanie Kerrigan:
Saw that in a vision, did you?

Prophet Jack:
No, I trip in that crack all the time.

Pete Scanlon:
Take a deep breath.

Pete Scanlon:
Feel better? Take one more.

Lanie Kerrigan:
[breathing] Oh my God. You are trying to have sex with me.

Lanie Kerrigan:
What would you do if you only had a week to live.

Pete Scanlon:
I would try to live every moment and I would go to all the people that mean most to me, and I would try to memorize their faces.

Lanie Kerrigan:
I'm marrying Cal. I know this is hard for you to accept.

Pete Scanlon:
Well. Listen Lanie. You are the single most delusional, most self-absorbed, self-involved, egomaniac woman that I've ever met.

Lanie Kerrigan:
Hmm... Umm... Let's have sex.

Cal Cooper:
Is this your breaking up with me? Well, take a minute. Will you reconsider about it?

Lanie Kerrigan:
A minute just seems like a really long time to waste.

Lanie Kerrigan:
My life is over. I'm officially dead. Just stopped breathing. I'm dead.

Pete Scanlon:
Define life.

Lanie Kerrighan:
My career. My network job. My wedding. Ok?

Pete Scanlon:
Do you really think if you have no job and no boyfriend then your life is over?

Pete Scanlon:
You are full of sh*t. She is not gonna die. Because she did get the job. The network job you said she wasn't gonna get. Which means you were wrong.

Prophet Jack:
Was I?

Pete Scanlon:
What is that supposed to mean?

Prophet Jack:
If she dies tomorrow, she doesn't get the job. And I was right.

Pete Scanlon:
Look. I don't want the opportunity to pass me by again. So I should have told you this a long time ago. But I've loved you since the first day I met you.

Lanie Kerrigan:
Define love.

Pete Scanlon:
Lanie. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.