Phffft

Charlie Nelson:
A mustache is a very important thing. That's part of the famous Charlie Nelson theory in the efficacy of face hair in dealing with the opposite sex.

Robert Tracey:
[Slightly taken aback] What?

Charlie Nelson:
Always remember this: dames become unpredictable when faced with a mustache. It both arouses, and angers them, because... being as it is a symbol of masculinity, they feel drawn toward it.

Nina Tracey n?e Chapman:
[laughing at Bob, while mocking his appearance] If you knew what you looked like in that silly vest and that mustache. You look like a gigolo! You don't even look like a gigolo, you look like Groucho Marx!