Eric & Ernie2011

[Eric and Ernie have just done their first television show and it has received very poor newspaper reviews. Even Eric's mother thinks it was a disaster]

Sadie Bartholomew:
[shouting] I can't show me face outside the house! I think we're going to have to move! I told you time and time again to trust your own material! I drummed it into you! And what do you do the moment me back's turned? You forget *everything*!

[Eric walks off and finds his dad sitting alone]

Eric Morecambe:
Can I borrow your bike?

George Bartholomew:
Where are you planning on going?

Eric Morecambe:
Anywhere that they don't have televisions.

George Bartholomew:
You could try Barrow-on-Furness. You'll soon be back - people'll forget.

Eric Morecambe:
They won't forget this.

[Eric shows George a newspaper cutting of a TV critic's article]

Eric Morecambe:
Here, read that.

George Bartholomew:
"Definition of a TV - the box they buried Morecambe and Wise in last night". You know what I think. There's nothing harder to find than yesterday's paper.