Severe Injuries2003

[looking at a photo album]

Melvin Hubble:
Who's that Pop?

Melvin Hubble Sr.:
That's your great uncle Alvin. He was responsible for a series of maimings in Hoboken, New Jersey.

Melvin Hubble:
Maimings?

Melvin Hubble Sr.:
He would cut off a few fingers. Bit off an ear or two. Got away with a whole leg once. Felt pretty proud of himself, until he realized that it was a prosthetic.

Melvin Hubble:
And this one?

Melvin Hubble Sr.:
Your fourth cousin Louis. He'd shoot people in the back, or rather in the butt. Really pathetic. Look that them. Pages of loonies, all Hubbles, all insane. You thing one of them would be able to pull off a half-decent massacre. But no, not a real killer in the bunch. Here's your Aunt Betty. You know what she was responsible for? The "Shabouden Second Degree Burns." Here's Artie Hubble, the "Hillside Smacker." And lets not forget your cousin Bruce. He's the one who delivered the famous "Texas Chainsaw Manicure." Oh, here's you grandmother, Martha Hubble Bumstead. Masterminded the Jonesboro Slayings. Killed four people in one night.

Melvin Hubble:
Well, there you go Pop.

Melvin Hubble Sr.:
What "go"? She was adopted!