Hoodwinked!2005

[Chief Ted Grizzly meets Det. Bill Stork outside the cottage]

Chief Ted Grizzly:
Bill.

Det. Bill Stork:
[turns around, startled] Chief!

Chief Grizzly:
All right, uh, what have we got?

Det. Stork:
Ah, it's a domestic disturbance: breaking and entering, wielding an axe without a license, intent to eat...

Chief Grizzly:
I get the picture. Any connection with the recipe robberies?

Det. Stork:
You mean the Goodie Bandit? Could be. The house belongs to Granny Puckett.

Chief Grizzly:
The cookbook lady?

Det. Stork:
Yeah that's the one.

Chief Grizzly:
Hmm.

[opens the door; from left to right we see Wolf, Kirk, Granny, and Red sitting in chairs, handcuffed, around a smashed table as police radio chatter continues]

Det. Stork:
Okay, Paul Bunyan here [Kirk] was swinging the axe, and Wolfie was trying to eat Li'l Bit [Red].

Chief Grizzly:
All right, get a muzzle on that guy.

Wolf:
Hey, I can explain everything.

Chief Grizzly:
Well you can explain it to the judge. [turns to Red] Shouldn't you be in school?

Red:
Shouldn't I have a lawyer?

Chief Grizzly:
[is distracted by something] Wha-what are you doing?

[Three pig cops Bruce, Timmy, and Tommy were standing around a wicker basket turn to him]

Pigs:
Oh, uh, hey, Chief.

Chief Grizzly:
Don't eat that! That's evidence!

Timmy:
Right.

[Another officer puts a muzzle over Wolf's mouth]

Chief Grizzly:
All right, so this looks pretty open-and-shut: Little Miss Rosycakes [Red] making covert deliveries to the goodie tycoon [Granny], Wolfie tries to eat 'em both, then crazy flannel pants [Kirk] with the axe here busts in swinging vigilante style. Take 'em downtown, boys!

Det. Stork:
Uh, it's the woods, Chief. We don't have a downtown.

Chief Grizzly:
You know what I mean! Just book 'em!

Nicky Flippers:
Not so fast, Grizzly. [Flippers enters through the back door] That's the problem with you bears: always growling up the wrong tree.