Hoodwinked!2005

[Wolf and Twitchy arrive at Granny's cottage]

Wolf:
[knocks on door] Hello! Paper boy. Publishers. Uh, candygram! [He opens the door, finding it unlocked]

Twitchy:
Huh, whadda we do, boss? [Wolf sees a cardboard cutout of Granny and is repulsed]

Wolf:
[narrating] Lucky for me, Granny keeps a lot of her merchandise around the cottage. Disguise was the only way of catching this girl in the act of smuggling. [He dons a plastic face mask and apron]

Wolf:
[falsetto voice] Sweetie pie. [Outtake beeps, cut to take 2] Sugar plum! [take 3] Uh, hug your granny, little puddin' pop!

Twitchy:
[bored] Oh....

Wolf:
[lifts up the mask] Ooh! Boy, that's hot. OK, change of plans, you can be Granny.

[There is a loud knock on the door]

Twitchy:
She's coming! [The Wolf throws him in a side closet, where Granny is bound and gagged]

Red's voice:
[coming from the foyer] Granny? It's me, Red. Is everything okay?

Wolf:
[pulls down the mask] Oh, oh, yeah, sure thing. Come on in.

Chief Grizzly:
Pretty thin, Wolf! [Cut back to the present day] You say the old lady was already tied up! How did that happen?!

Wolf:
I don't know, maybe to make herself look innocent. I just write the news, Chief! I don't make it.

Red:
For a reporter, you sure have a strange way of doing your job. [rolls her eyes]

Wolf:
: What can I say? I was raised by wolves. [Cuts to a picture of the Wolf's family portrait]

Chief Grizzly:
You got a way to back this up? [Twitchy appears]

Twitchy:
I got these pictures developed, Mr. Flippers!

Flippers:
That so? Let's have a look... [examines the photos] Hmmm... these are good... Ha... [shows picture of Wolf mounted in a fish costume] Here's a nice one of you, Wolf.

Twitchy:
I wanna do an expose' sometime; a gallery show. And maybe a coffee table book, 'course, I don't drink coffee. Maybe a chi tea/latte book.

Flippers:
Photos don't lie, Chief. [Grizzly growls in frustration]

Wolf:
Good work, Twitchy.