Mulan1998

Mulan:
Okay, okay, how about this? [clear throat; Mulan speaking in a man's voice name Ping] Excuse me! Where do I sign in? Ha! I see you have a sword! I have one, too! [struggles to draw sword] They're very manly and... tough! [drops sword, Khan neighs laughing, Mulan throws her shoe to Khan] I'm working on it! [fearfully] Oh. Who am I fooling? It's going to take a miracle to get me into the army.

[Mushu's shadow appears in giantic form and surrounded by flames]

Mushu:
Did I hear someone ask for a miracle? Let me hear you say "AAAH!!!"

Mulan:
[in fear] AAAH!

Mushu:
That's close enough!

Mulan:
A ghost...!

Mushu:
Get ready, Mulan! Your serpentine salvation is at hand! For I have been sent by your ancestors... to guide you through your masquerade! [To Cri-kee] Come on, if you're gonna stay, you're gonna work. [as behind the rocks with the fire] So heed my word, 'cause if the army finds out you're a girl, the penalty is DEATH!

Mulan:
Who are you?

Mushu:
Who am I? Who am I?! I am the guardian of lost souls! I am the powerful, the pleasurable, the indestructible Mushu. [Mushu comes out from behind the rocks] Oh. Ha, ha. Pretty hot, huh?

[Khan immediately tramples him. Mulan moves Khan away and looks curiously at Mushu]

Mulan:
Uh, my ancestors sent a little lizard to help me?

Mushu:
Hey! Dragon! Dragon! Not lizard. I don't do that tongue thing.

[Mushu sticks out his tongue and waves it about to show that he is indeed a dragon and not a lizard]

Mulan:
You're... um...

Mushu:
Intimidating? Awe-inspiring?

Mulan:
Tiny.

Mushu:
Of course! I'm travel size for your convenience! If I was my real size, your cow here would die of fright! [Khan snaps at him] Down, Bessie. My powers are beyond your mortal imagination. For instance, my eyes can see straight through your armor. [Mulan gasps and slaps him] All right, that's it! Dishonor! Dishonor on your whole family! [To Cri-kee] Make a note of this. [To Mulan] Dishonor on you! Dishonor on your cow! Dis-

Mulan:
Stop! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm just nervous. I've never done this before.

Mushu:
Then you're gonna have to trust me! And don't you slap me no more. We clear on that? [Mulan nods] All right. Okie-Dokie, let's get this show on the road! Cri-kee, get the bags! Let's move it, heifer! [Khan snorts]