Glee2009

Rachel Berry:
Thanks for helping with the party clean up, especially since you didn't even drink.

Kurt Hummel:
I was in the neighborhood.

Rachel Berry:
At 10 o'clock? Are you sure you're not here just to find out how my date with Blaine went?

Kurt Hummel:
Oh, that was tonight?

Rachel Berry:
Look, we're friends, so I'm gonna be honest with you... the date was lovely. We saw Love Story at the Revival Theater. We even dressed up as the characters.

Kurt Hummel:
[Sarcastically] That's not gay at all. Did you kiss?

Rachel Berry:
No, or lips spent the evening mouthing Ali MacGraw's dialogue. Frankly, I did expect a little snog as the date drew to a close, but I guess the timing just wasn't right.

Kurt Hummel:
Or the blood alcohol level.

Rachel Berry:
Look, I know that you have feelings for him and I'm sure you think I'm crazy for asking him out, but Blaine is obviously conflicted and if he turns out not to be gay, well then, I guess I will have done you a favor.

Kurt Hummel:
And I'm doing you a favor by telling you that Blaine is the first in a long line of conflicted men that you will date that will later turn out to be only the most flaming of homosexuals.

Rachel Berry:
Blaine and I have a lot in common.

Kurt Hummel:
A sentiment expressed by many a hag about many a gay. Look, I don't doubt that you and Blaine would have a jolly good time shopping at Burberry and arguing who would make the better Rum Tum Tugger. I don't dispute that, but there's something that you and Blaine will never have and that's chemistry.

Rachel Berry:
Fine. Then I'm gonna prove you wrong. I'm gonna take the beer goggles off and I'm gonna kiss him sober. And if the spark is still there, then I am taking you to your bakery of choice for a piping hot slice of humble pie.