Goodnight Sweetheart1993

[first lines]

Gary:
Hi.

Yvonne:
Hi.

Gary:
I thought I'd do kidneys for supper.

Yvonne:
What? Why?

Gary:
Oh, I don't know. I just saw these lamb kidneys in the butcher's windows and a little voice in my head went "yum".

Yvonne:
Well, a little voice in my stomach just went "yuck". You know I don't like kidneys.

Gary:
I didn't know you don't like kidneys. We've never had kidneys.

Yvonne:
Yes, that's why.

Gary:
If I knew you didn't like kidneys, would I have bought kidneys?

Yvonne:
You know you might unconsciously be punishing me.

Gary:
For what?

Yvonne:
For making you do the cooking.

Gary:
You don't make me do the cooking; I like doing the cooking. It was my suggestion, if you recall, that we share that particular chore.

Yvonne:
Perhaps, but subliminally your male ego was feeling threatened, and so you offer me this extraordinarily symbolic meal to say: "Look, you are unmanning me."

Gary:
You been sunbathing without a hat again? What do you mean, symbolic?

Yvonne:
Well, kidneys look like testicles, right? And you offer them to me on a plate, metaphorically saying: "Here is my manhood. Now are you satisfied?"

Gary:
[pause] How about a cheese omelette?