Hot in Cleveland2010

[first lines]

Perky Saleswoman:
We have on the line with us Victoria from Cleveland. Tell us, Victoria, why are you so excited about these amazing Space Bags?

Victoria Chase:
Well, the love of my life was recently thrown into prison, and it turns out that jail cells have no closet space at all. I'll take five hundred.

Melanie Moretti:
Victoria! [grabs the phone] Miss Chase will not be purchasing Space Bags at this time. Thank you.

Victoria Chase:
Why are you shop-blocking me?

Elka Ostrovsky:
[Elks enters carrying a shotgun] I heard noises.

Joy Scroggs:
Is that thing loaded?

Elka Ostrovsky:
One of us is.

Melanie Moretti:
Well, we're having an intervention for Victoria.

Elka Ostrovsky:
Because of her drinking?

Melanie Moretti:
No.

Joy Scroggs:
She's grief-shopping,