Key and Peele2012

Various Characters:
All right, listen up, y'all. I'm y'all's substitute teacher, Mr. Garvey. I taught school for 20 years in the inner city, so don't even think about messing with me! Y'all feel me? Okay, let's take roll here. Jay-quellin. [Nobody answers] Where's Jay-quellin at? No Jay-quellin here? [One girl raises her hand] Yes?

Jacquelin:
Uh, do you mean Jacquelline?

Various Characters:
Okay, so that's how it's gonna be. Y'all wanna play. Okay, then. I got my eye on you Jay-quellin. "Buh-lah-kay." [No answer] Where is Buh-lah-gay at? No Buh-lah-kay here today? [Another student raises his hand] Yes, sir?

Blake:
My name's Blake.

Various Characters:
Are you outta your God-damned mind? "Blake?" What? Do you wanna go to war, Buh-lah-kay?

Blake:
No.

Various Characters:
'Cuz we could go to war. I'm for real. So you better check yourself. "De-nice." Is there a De-nice? If one of y'all says some silly-ass name, this whole class is gonna feel my wrath. Now, De-nice.

Denise:
Do you mean Denise?

Various Characters:
SON OF A B*TCH! [Breaks his clipboard over his knees] You say your name right, right now.

Denise:
Denise.

Various Characters:
Say it right.

Denise:
Denise.

Various Characters:
Correctly.

Denise:
Denise.

Various Characters:
Right.

Denise:
De-nice.

Various Characters:
That's better, thank you! Now, "Ay-ay-ron." Where are you? Where is Ay-ay-ron right now? No ay-ay-ron, huh? Well you better be sick, dead or mute Ay-ay-ron.

Aaron:
Here! [Under breath] Oh, man!

Various Characters:
Why didn't you answer me the first time I said it?

Aaron:
Huh?

Various Characters:
I only said Ay-ay-ron four times, why didn't you answer one of those times?

Aaron:
Because it's pronounced Aaron.

Various Characters:
SON OF A B*TCH! [Throws several pieces of lab equipment to the ground] YOU DONE MESSED UP, AY-AY-RON! YOU DONE MESSED UP! Now march your ass down to O'Shag-Hennessey's office and explain to him exactly what you did?

Aaron:
Principal O'Shaughnessy?

Various Characters:
Get outta my God-damned classroom before I break my foot off in your ass!