M*A*S*H

     

M*A*S*H1972

Stars: Alan Alda, Loretta Swit, Jamie Farr, William Christopher
Rating: TV-PG
Runtime: 25 minutes

Members of the 4077th Mobile Army Surgical Hospital care for the injured during the Korean War and use humor to escape from the horror and depression of the situation. Among the 4077's people are Capts. Benjamin "Hawkeye" Pierce and "… more »


Gen. Crandell Clayton:
[catching Captain Hildebrand drinking on the job] Captain Hildebrand!

Captain Hildebrand:
These guys make a gin that can melt your dog tags.

Hawkeye:
Comes from a recipe first brewed in Hermann Goering's navel and handed down from war to war.

Gen. Crandell Clayton:
You had a mission here, Captain.

Captain Hildebrand:
Oh, I've done it. I can give you your report. In my short stay here I have seen textbook examples of neuroses, psychoses. I have seen voyeurism, fetishism, and a few isms I've never even heard of. And let me tell you this, General. These impossible people are in an impossible place, doing totally impossible work. They're mad, quite mad, all of them. And the only act I can think of that would be madder still, would be breaking them up.

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