Monty Python's Flying Circus1969

Mrs. #1:
Well, what's on the television then?

Mrs. #2:
Looks like a penguin.

Mrs. #1:
No no no no, I didn't mean what's on the television set, I meant what program...

Mrs. #2:
Oh [goes over and turns the set on, sits back down] Funny that penguin being there, isn't it. What's it doing there?

Mrs. #1:
Standin'!

Mrs. #2:
I can see that!

Mrs. #1:
If it lays an egg, it will fall down the back of the television set.

Mrs. #2:
We'll have to watch that... Unless it's a male.

Mrs. #1:
Whew, I never thought of that.

Mrs. #2:
Yes. It looks fairly butch.

Mrs. #1:
Per'aps it comes from next door.

Mrs. #2:
[yelling] PENGUINS DON'T COME FROM NEXT DOOR, THEY COME FROM THE ANTARCTIC!

Mrs. #1:
[even louder] BURMA! [they both stop short, looking around]

Mrs. #2:
Why'd you say Burma?

Mrs. #1:
I panicked.

Mrs. #2:
Oh. Per'aps it's from the zoo.

Mrs. #1:
Which zoo?

Mrs. #2:
[angrily] How should I know which zoo, I'm not Doctor bloody Bernofsky!

Mrs. #1:
'ow does Doctor Bernofsky know what zoo it came from?

Mrs. #2:
He knows everything.

Mrs. #1:
Oooh, I wouldn't like that, it would take the mystery out of life... Anyway, if came from the zoo, it'd have "property of the zoo" stamped on it.

Mrs. #2:
No it wouldn't! They don't stamp animals "property of the zoo"! You couldn't stamp a huge lion!

Mrs. #1:
[confidently] They stamp them when they're small.