My Family2000

Man at Bar:
I'll have a lager.

Nick:
Coming right up.

[gives the man a green cocktail]

Man at Bar:
That's not a lager.

Nick:
It's better. I call it a Nick-tini.

Man at Bar:
I'd rather have a lager.

Nick:
OK.

[pulls out another cocktail, this time a white one]

Man at Bar:
What's that?

Nick:
A Nick-orita. Packed full of Tequila, you'll love it.

Pub Landlord:
Just give the man a lager.

Nick:
Look, I can't. I don't want to point fingers, but somebody forgot to order more barrels.

Pub Landlord:
You were supposed to order more.

Nick:
That's why I don't want to point fingers.

Pub Landlord:
You're fired.

Nick:
No, wait! You haven't seen my cocktail routine!

[tosses cocktail shaker between hands, throws it up in the air, it lands on the bar and smashes]

Pub Landlord:
[pause] You're still fired.

Nick:
Fine, but you haven't seen the last of Nick harper!

[walks out from behind the bar, and sits down next to the other man at the bar]

Nick:
I'll have a pint, it's been a rough day.