Supernatural2005

Dean Winchester:
I been gettin' my ass kicked all year! Now you're sweatin' my safety? You're lyin'. I wanna see my brother.

Zachariah:
That's... ill advised.

Dean Winchester:
[angry] You know I am so sick of your crap riddles and your smug fat face! What the Hell is goin' on, huh? Why can't I see Sam? And how am I gonna ice Lilith?

Zachariah:
You're not. [pause, Dean looks confused]

Zachariah:
Going to ice Lilith.

Dean Winchester:
What?

Zachariah:
Lilith's going to break the final seal. Fait accompli at this point. Train's left the station. [he crosses the room, sits down smiling]

Dean Winchester:
But me an' Sam, we can stop... [pause as he looks at Zachariah, realizing] You don't want to stop it, do you?

Zachariah:
Nope. Never did. The End is nigh, the Apocalypse is coming, kiddo. To a theater near you.

Dean Winchester:
What was all that crap about savin' seals?

Zachariah:
Grunts on the ground, we couldn't just tell 'em the whole truth. We'd have a full-scale rebellion on our hands. I mean, think about it, would we really let sixty-five seals get broken, unless Senior Management wanted it that way?

Dean Winchester:
[shocked] But why?

Zachariah:
[cheerfully] Why not? "The Apocalypse." Poor name, bad marketing, puts people off. When all it is, is Ali/Foreman, on a slightly larger scale, and we like our chances. When our side wins - and we will - it's Paradise on Earth! What's not to like about that?

Dean Winchester:
[softly, horrified] And what happens to all the people during your little pissing contest?

Zachariah:
Well, can't make an omelet without crackin' a few eggs. In this case, truckloads of eggs, but you get the picture. Look. It happens. This isn't the first planetary enema we've delivered. [Dean glances at a heavy-looking statue] Um, no, Dean, probably shouldn't try to bash my skull in with that thing. Wouldn't end up too pleasant for you.

Dean Winchester:
What about Sam? He won't go quietly, he'll stop Lilith.

Zachariah:
Sam... has a part to play. A very important part. He may need a little nudging in the right direction, but I'll make sure he plays it.

Dean Winchester:
[frightened] What does that mean? What're you gonna do to him?

Zachariah:
Sam Sam Sam, Marsha Marsha Marsha, forget about him, would you? You have larger concerns. Why do you think I'm confiding in you? You're still vital, Dean, we weren't lying about your destiny. Just... omitted a few pertinent details. But nothing's changed, you are chosen. You will stop it. Just... not Lilith or the Apocalypse, that's all.

Dean Winchester:
Which means?

Zachariah:
Lucifer. You're going to stop Lucifer. You're our own little Russel Crowe, complete with surly attitude. And when it's over, and when you've won, your rewards will be... unimaginable. Peace, happiness, two virgins and seventy sluts? [chuckles, walking away] Trust me, one day we'll look back on this and laugh.

Dean Winchester:
Tell me something. Where's God in all this?

Zachariah:
[without looking at Dean] God? God has left the building. [He disappears]