The Big Bang Theory2007

Sheldon Cooper:
Hey, there he is! There my old buddy bud-bud!

Leonard Hofstadter:
What's with him?

Howard Wolowitz:
Koothrapali dumped him on me and he couldn't get to sleep so I gave him a glass of warm milk with a handful of my mom's Valium in it but he still wouldn't shut up so tag you're it!

[Wolowitz drops Sheldon's bag and leaves]

Sheldon Cooper:
I'm baaack!

Leonard Hofstadter:
I still don't know why you left.

Sheldon Cooper:
I can't tell you.

Leonard Hofstadter:
Why not?

Sheldon Cooper:
I promised Penny.

Leonard Hofstadter:
You promised Penny what?

Sheldon Cooper:
That I wouldn't tell you the secret. Ssh!

Leonard Hofstadter:
What secret? Tell me the secret.

Sheldon Cooper:
Mom smokes in the car. Jesus is okay with it but we can't tell dad!

Leonard Hofstadter:
Not *that* secret! The other secret!

Sheldon Cooper:
I'm Batman! Ssh!

Leonard Hofstadter:
Damn it! Sheldon, you said Penny told you a secret. What was the secret?

Sheldon Cooper:
Okay, I'll tell you. But you can't tell Leonard.

Leonard Hofstadter:
I promise.

Sheldon Cooper:
Penny lied about graduating from community college because she's afraid she's not smart enough for Leonard.

Leonard Hofstadter:
So it's nothing I did? It's her problem?

Sheldon Cooper:
I drank milk that tasted funny.

Leonard Hofstadter:
Penny thinks I'm too smart for her. That's ridiculous!

Sheldon Cooper:
I know. Most of your work is extremely derivative. Don't worry that's not a secret. Everybody knows!