The Colbert Report2005

Stephen Colbert:
[discussing the potential ports deal with Dubai] I hesitate to say this, but while Bush may, in fact, be right, it feels like Bush... is wrong. Ooh!

[holds his gut]

Stephen Colbert:
Oh, that hurts my gut! Oh, cause my gut tells me George Bush is always right! Oh God!

[holds his head]

Stephen Colbert:
That hurts my brain, cause this is so clearly not the right gut political decision for him to have made! Ooh, there's my gut again! Bush is right... aggh, he's wrong... gahh, he's right... noo! Agh, he can't be both wrong and right at the same time!

"The Word" side-screen:
Does Not Compute!

Stephen Colbert:
...or can he? Has he really gotten that advanced? Oh splendor, it all coheres! It doesn't have to make sense to my head or my gut!

"The Word" side-screen:
Or Your Bulletpoint

Stephen Colbert:
We just have to do what he says no matter what! Oh, that's gonna make things a lot easier. Well there it is. Bush is right! Absolutely!

"The Word" side-screen:
Maybe