The Games1998

John:
Des Renford would regularly take on the English Channel, Bryan. He would drop his tweeds, pull on a pair of oversized budgie smugglers, and he would drop a bomb off the white cliffs of Dover and start rolling his arm over.

Bryan:
Des Renford?

John:
Yes. He would then disappear off the world's radar screens for about three weeks. Subsequently he would be found, lying on a beach near Calais somewhere, with a school of herring up his snorer. He'd be in intensive care for about a fortnight. He would then swim back to England, Bryan, and get his towel.

Bryan:
And your point is, Mr Clarke?

John:
As a distinct from your modern athlete, who is provided with a waterproof five-star hotel suite which they drag from one side of the channel to the other. It only takes about 40 minutes. They give them a wake-up call five minutes out.

Bryan:
You're mad.