The Nostalgia Critic2007

Narrator:
And there I am, with that same dumb round face, and the same penetrating 20/90 vision.

Nostalgia Critic:
Yes, the more we say the word "same," the more we hope it'll mentally brainwash you into thinking that they actually are the same. They're not, of course, as we see the father is now played by Daniel Stern, portraying him as an overcooked Rodney Dangerfield.

The Old Man:
I'm telling you, boys, if I earn that team, things would be a whole lot different.

Nostalgia Critic:
[mimicking Daniel Stern] Great, another role I can do with bug eyes and speaking out of the side of my mouth! [normal voice] To the actor's credit, the kid playing Ralphie actually does a decent job. He captures the spirit of the original performer but still manages to make it his own. The rest? Well, remember that bad community college play you had to watch a long time ago?