Upright Citizens Brigade1998

Captain Lunatic:
It's time for you to come out of weed heaven and Potville for a second and give me a little informationi, a little Captain Lunatic time!

Bong Boy:
Hey, let me down!

Captain Lunatic:
Now, what do you know about this missing McMadison girl?

Bong Boy:
Oh yeah. Last night I saw her and her husband.

Captain Lunatic:
Husband?

Bong Boy:
Yeah. He was drunk and his face was all pixilated. Wait a second. That might have been on Cops last night.

Captain Lunatic:
You wanna play games, huh? Old Lunatic's got a game for you, called junkie quit hitting yourself! [makes him hit himself]

Bong Boy:
Ahh! Ahh! Make me stop!

Captain Lunatic:
I can't make you stop! You're the one doing it!

Bong Boy:
Ow! Make me want to stop!

Captain Lunatic:
Oh no. What does this look like? [pretends to steal his nose]

Bong Boy:
That's my nose!

Captain Lunatic:
I got your damn nose, punk! You ain't ever ever gonna see this nose again! [swallows his "nose"]

Bong Boy:
Ahh! I need one of those.

Captain Lunatic:
Aw, God. I could go to hell for this. Get down. Hold the gun.

Bong Boy:
Huh?

Captain Lunatic:
What does this feel like? [pretends to crack an egg over his head]

Bong Boy:
Ahhh! That's an egg!

Captain Lunatic:
That's an egg! [pretends to break another egg]

Bong Boy:
Oh, no!

Captain Lunatic:
That's another. That's two friggin' eggs! You look ridiculous!